How to deal with uncommon names becoming more popular

Paige posted this interesting question to my FB wall:

Silly question. Any tips on how to get over the agitation that comes when you’ve chosen a name for your child that was unique and it starts to gain popularity? I don’t like nicknames so that’s out.”

First off, not a silly question at all! We all know what being a namiac does to a person. 😉

I’ve been thinking a lot about this question since Paige asked it. It was smart of her to say nicknames aren’t really her thing, because otherwise I do think that could be a good way to manage the downfalls of a popular name (or a name that’s more popular than one would like). And I’m actually realizing just now that I don’t know Paige’s situation — whether she’s expecting a baby and has already decided on a name, or if she has an already-born child whose name is becoming more popular. My thoughts would be different for each situation, so I’ll address each one separately.

If you’re expecting a baby, and have already decided on a name, and are now having a really hard time with the fact that it’s becoming more popular, I would definitely seriously think of changing the name. Before the baby has arrived, anything goes! If it’s a name that’s important to you — a family name, for example, or a favorite saint, or the best friend you promised when you were six that you’d name your first child after — then maybe looking for an unusual variant of it would do the trick. Sean instead of John, that kind of thing. It might also be helpful to remember that things that really really bother you when you’re pregnant might mean very little to non-pregnant you, so if, for example, your husband really wants to stick with the name that you’ve already agreed upon even though you’re having agita over it, and there’s just no changing his mind, there’s a chance that after the baby’s here and all the intensity has calmed down and life has regained some normalcy, it won’t seem so bad to you after all. Especially since babies very often immediately own their names and all of a sudden you can’t imagine your little one having any other name in the world, even if there ends up being two others with the same name in his/her Kindergarten class.

If the baby’s already born and named, you could still think of changing the name (depending on how old he/she is). The rules about such things varies from state to state, but I’m pretty sure they all have a grace period after the birth during which you can change the name on the birth certificate without too much fuss. If the child’s older — old enough to know and recognize his/her name — that’s a different story. If you’re in the situation where the name absolutely can’t be changed, and nicknames aren’t a great option, I would encourage you to think about why you chose the name in the first place. Certainly sometimes a big part of the reason you like a name is because it’s uncommon, but there are lots of uncommon names that you didn’t choose, so what was it about this one that made it special? What qualities (besides uncommonness) did you love? Can you add further amazing qualities to it even now, in hindsight, like finding an amazing saint with the name that you can fall in love with? I’ve often found that reminding myself (over and over if needed, accompanied by lots of Hail Marys) of the good characteristics and blessings of a challenging thing in my life helps my heart soften toward that thing.

Finally, no matter what the situation is (pre- or post-birth+naming), it’s also helpful to remember that names can come zooming out of nowhere and become huge hits overnight if a certain blockbuster book or movie with an uncommonly named hero enters the country’s consciousness. On the flip side, names can immediately drop like a rock due to widespread negative associations (just think of all the sweet little girls who were lovingly given the name Isis before the name had the association it now does). So knowing that you can’t ever guarantee what will happen to the name you’ve so carefully and lovingly chosen can provide a real measure of freedom to just choose a name you like — a name whose sparkly bits you’ll always be able to remember, no matter how popular it becomes.

These also might be helpful, regarding the popularity of names today not being the same as the popularity of names in the past: This great comment from our very own grace and Even the Top 10 Is Not Necessarily the Kiss of Death by Swistle. Also these, on naming regret: Naming regret by me and An Account of Baby Name Regret by Swistle.

What do you all think about Paige’s question? Do you think my thoughts are spot on or totally off base? Have you experienced this, and how did you handle it? What other advice would you offer to Paige or anyone else with this struggle?

Reading round-up: Birth/name announcement edition

I know (or I hope) you all know how much I love your contributions to our wonderful little community here, right? 💕💕💕 Over the past couple of weeks I’ve received notes from several of you sharing birth and name announcements you’d come across that you thought I’d like to see, and of course you’re so right — I loved them all! And I wanted to post them here for all of you lovers of the names of our faith.

First up, I hope you all know Abby Johnson, former Planned Parenthood director-turned-amazing advocate for the unborn, as well as for those who work at abortion clinics and who want to get out of the industry (she provides all kinds of resources and support, including finding jobs for them and helping them financially, through her wonderful organization And Then There Were None). She’s absolutely tireless in her efforts, even with being mama to five beautiful little ones AND expecting twins!! She and her husband recently solicited name ideas for their twin baby girls (and shared their older kiddos’ names), and her husband shared on FB last week that they’ve decided! Go check out the beeaauutiful names they chose! 👯 (Thanks to Mary and Jen for sharing this info!)

I always love hearing about the European royal names and how Catholic they often are, but I was pleasantly surprised to find out the names of a British politician’s children! Check out Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg has given his fifth child an amazing name and North Somerset MP Jacob Rees-Mogg welcomes fifth child but his name causes a stir. (Thanks to Jilana!)

Check out this little guy’s name! And Clive makes five: a birth story. I really loved reading how perfectly his name fit the naming rules his parents had — like, perfectly! And of course C.S. Lewis. Great naming story. (He’s also got some gorgeously named big sisters!) (Thanks to proud auntie Francine!)

Finally, Amy tagged me on a photo of her twin girls she’d posted on IG to illustrate her announcement that she’d posted about how she’d chosen their names and said, “@santanomina how did I do? They’re both French, places and saints!” I’m still so tickled that anyone cares what I think! Haha! Of course I 🏃 (or more like 💃) over to her blog to read all about these sweet girls’ names in “Are They Family Names?” – Behind the Names Special and can say with authority that she and her husband did a marvelous job. Beautiful times two! 👯 (Thanks also to Mary, who also shared the link with me!)

What a fun round-up! I hope you all have as much fun reading about these babies as I did!

Celebrity guest: Katie, mom who did the John Paul + middle thing really well

I met Katie, one of you wonderful readers, at the Syracuse Catholic Women’s Conference in October, and I got to meet her littlest guy, snoozing away in his wrap (soooo cute. I.love.babies!), who has one of my very favorite names for one of my very favorite saints: John Paul!

So of course we started chatting about names, and she was telling me that her husband hadn’t wanted John Paul to have a middle name, because he thought that three names was too much, and my interest was immediately piqued, because I know this very issue has been struggled with regarding this very name by some of you (and myself as well!).

So I was literally waiting with bated breath to hear how they resolved it (not even joking, I’m a little breathless about names 😂) when we got interrupted (this sweet old lady came over to tell Katie how much she reminded her of the Madonna and Child, which she totally did) and I never heard the rest of the story.

So yes, I emailed Katie! And we had a nice virtual chat and she said it would be okay for me to post about her John Paul’s name, as well as her seven other kiddos’ names! I’m so excited to introduce this beautiful family to you today and share their names with you!

To start, here’s the end to the John Paul + middle name story:

Yes, he said three names were too many so we were at an impasse. I ended up having a c-section bc baby turned to breech in labor. After [my husband] saw the c-section, I was wheeled back into my room. He said “I’ll name this baby anything you want!” So we went with John Paul on the birth certificate but John Paul Anthony is his name on his baptism certificate, birth announcement, etc. Turns out the husband was just worried about the blanks on the birth certificate form.”

Isn’t that a fantastic solution?! I could see a lot of people being really relieved to let go of the idea that the child’s name can only be what’s on the birth certificate. Like, the legal name is the legal name, but the legal name doesn’t have to be *the name*, you know? I kind of love the idea of a baby’s *real name* only being official with the Church and friends/family/real life. And doing so opens up so many options!

Of course I wanted to know what little John Paul Anthony’s big sibs were named, and I really love each one of them and the reasons behind them:

Daniel Thomas (“named for family friend & my step-dad“)

James Michael (“we liked James & Michael is for my husband“)

Joseph William (“we just liked those names“)

Benjamin Jon (“liked the name Benjamin, Jon is the husband’s middle name“)

Samuel Luke (“I liked the names & the Bible theme…kids liked Sam Gribley from My Side of the Mountain and Luke Skywalker from Star Wars“)

Twins:
Robert Jacob (“Robert because the husband REALLY liked the name and I was so pregnant with twins that I had no energy to argue. Jacob is for my great grandfather“)

Mary Lucille (“Mary for my grandmother, Lucille because we were going to call her Lucy. But when she was born, I was asking for Mary’s intercession in labor & as I was hemorrhaging after. So when I held our little girl, I felt like a heel not calling her Mary. 😁 “)

John Paul Anthony (“love JP2, all the dads and grandpas are named John. Anthony is because with all these boys, I have a devotion to St. Anthony. Without him we would never go anyplace bc we would never have keys or socks“)

My naming style is less traditional…if it were up to me, we’d have Gavin, Ignatius, Leo, Henry, etc. the husband likes the 80s names…So I consider our name choices a good compromise.”

I LOVED reading all of this! All those boys! And that one sweet little lady! I died over Katie’s comment that Mary Lucille was supposed to be Lucy but after Our Lady’s intercession in labor “I felt like a heel not calling her Mary”!! 😂😂😂

 

Thank you so much to Katie for sharing all this fun and fabulous info with us! Check out her beautiful children (all photos taken by Mary Wiseman):

View More: http://weekly.pass.us/katie-1

Age order: Daniel, James, Joseph, Benjamin, Samuel, Robert, Mary, and John Paul

Some really cute ones of her younger kiddos:

Clockwise from top left: John Paul, Samuel, Joseph, Mary and Bobby, Dad and Bobby, Mary

💖👕👕👕👕👕👕👗👕💖

Baby name consultation: Spanish middles and Mexican saint names for baby no. 5 if a boy

I know Lina in semi-real life — we “met” online and have mutual real-life friends; she also runs F&P Birth and Breastfeeding Services: Women Serving Women (FB page here) (F&P stands for Felicity and Perpetua! 😍), which I know many of you might be interested in knowing about — so I’m delighted today to post this consultation for her fifth baby, a little green bean (gender unknown)! 🌱

This little one joins big sibs:

John Diego García (“named for the obvious saint, as well as my deceased FIL, John“)

Joseph Sebastián García (“named for both my husband’s grandfathers and my husband has a devotion to St. Sebastian and didn’t want it for a first name. I wanted to keep all middle names spanish, so its “Sebastián” instead“)

Rita Maureen García (“My middle name is also Maureen, after my grandmother, who is now deceased. Rita is … b/c she paid for our wedding 😉 “) (St. Rita is amazing! She’s one of the patrons of lost causes and I personally know of a couple other examples where she came through big time! Lina’s referring here to her prayers for St. Rita’s intercession in paying for their wedding.)

Michael Agustín García (“for [Bl. Miguel Agustín Pro] … Augustine was [also] my great great grandfather married to Lina, for whom I am named“)

Note that Garcia is Lina’s maiden name, not the family surname (which has more of an English/Irish feel) — I LOVE how she’s worked her heritage via Spanish names (accents and all!) and her maiden name into her kiddos’ names, and I just love the whole set together — they go by Johnny, Joey, Rita, and Mikey — sooooo cute!!

Even though they don’t know if this baby is a boy or a girl, they only need help with boy names (their girl name is Evangelina Claire García). Lina writes,

Since two of my boys have Mexican saints for names) … i would LOVE to find another mexican saint to use for a boy name.  Nothing has struck me … In the past, we’ve tossed around Ignatius (call him Nate), Gabriel, Lawrence Rey called Larry [Lina’s dad’s name is Larry King; Rey is Spanish for king] and…. who knows.  Seriously, we’re stumped … Oh and obviously our kids have 2 middle names since Garcia is my maiden, so it should flow with that.  and we don’t really want James b/c no more J names.

so tl;dr – boy name help, middle must be spanish, fantasy is mexican saint for the name.  thanks!!! 😀 😀 “

This was such a great consultation to work on! You all know I love when there are “rules,” and trying to come up with great combos that work in Spanish names and Mexican holies was fuuuuun!

So first off, I just have to say that I love the idea of Lawrence Rey for Lina’s dad! I wondered if finding a different nickname for Lawrence (or none at all — know a little Lawrence in my son’s class at school! He goes by the full Lawrence always, which cracks me up—such a big name for a little guy!) might help? I did some research on nicknames that are used for Lawrence, and thought of some that *could* be used (even if I didn’t find any evidence of them already in use), and I suspect that Lina and her hubs aren’t really offbeat in their taste in names/nicknames BUT Larry is pretty offbeat right now so what about:

Lenny: I love this idea … I think it (because of Leonard) has the feel of Larry/Lawrence, but is a bit more “with it” right now, what with Leonard on Big Bang helping to pave the way for those kinds of names.

Enzo: I know Lina’s hubs isn’t into Spanishy Spanish first names, but Enzo can be a nickname for Lorenzo, which of course is the Spanish Lawrence, so I thought they could do Lawrence nicknamed Enzo if they wanted to, which would be a fun way to work in Lina’s heritage in an everyday sort of way (and Enzo is so cool).

Lance: I’m not sure what they’d think of this? But I saw it listed somewhere as a possible nickname for Lawrence, being that it’s like a contraction of Lawrence … I could see it being really cute on a little guy.

Laddy: This is my own idea, inspired by Taddy for Thaddeus, Matty for Matthew, etc. Could be cute, no?

Laz, Lon, Ren: My guess is that none of these are quite Lina’s taste but I could be totally wrong, so I thought I should list them here. There are some more nickname ideas for Lawrence here.

Also, regarding their idea of Gabriel, there’s Bl. Gabriel Escoto Ruiz, who was born in Mexico (though he was martyred in the Spanish Civil War).

Alrighty, so you all know I use the Baby Name Wizard for almost every consultation, as it lists, for each entry, boy and girl names that are similar in terms of style/feel/popularity. I did use it when doing this consultation for Lina, but I actually didn’t start with it—rather, I googled “Mexican saints” and used these sites here and here, picking saints, blesseds, and venerables who had names I thought Lina and her hubs would like. I then cross-checked my ideas against the names the BNW said they’d like based on John, Joseph, Rita, Michael, Evangeline (no entry for Evangelina), Gabriel, and Lawrence (no entries for Ignatius or Nate). Based on all that, these are my ideas:

(1) Philip
I think Philip is my #1 idea for Lina and her hubs—one of my own personal favorites, with the great Mexican patron St. Felipe de Jesús. The nickname Phil has a similar feel to me as Larry, but it’s also the reason a lot of families don’t choose the name—if they love Phil, great! If they don’t, there’s also Pip (perfect for a little guy! And he can just be Philip as he grows up), Flip (I worked with a Philip called Flip, kinda cool … it also echoes the original Felipe), and Finn (especially with an N middle name … I loved the idea of Philip Neri nn Finn but couldn’t get my hubs on board).

(2) David
There are three Mexican martyrs that can work here: St. David Galván-Bermudez, St. David Roldán-Lara, and St. David Uribe Valasco, each one is pretty amazing. Davy/Davey’s a super cute nickname too, and I think David/Davey fits right in with Lina’s current and future kids’ names.

(3) Peter
Two Mexican martyrs here: St. Pedro Esqueda Ramírez and St. Pedro de Jesús Maldonado-Lucero. I’ve been digging Pete/Petey recently, so cute!

(4) Gregory
I love Gregory anyway—the BNW says, “Popes, saints, and Gregory Peck! Can a name get any more distinguished?” 😁—and there’s a Ven. Gregorio López who, though born in Spain, was a missionary in Mexico and is apparently much beloved there. This site calls him Blessed but as far as I can he’s still Venerable. Like Phil, I know some families are turned off of Gregory because of Greg, but Rory can work as a nickname (though I already know Lina doesn’t care for Rory, but I’m leaving it here in case it’s helpful to any of you), as can Grey, and I think even Gus could work if Gregory was paired with an S middle name.

(5) Paul
Ven. Pablo de Anda Padilla is the inspiration here—and he had a brother José and a sister María Rita! I know a couple little Pauls who go by Paulie, so cute!

(6) Louis
St. Luis Batiz Sainz is another Mexican martyr (what holy ground is there in Mexico, with all the martyrs’ blood!), and Louie is an adorable nickname!

And those are my main ideas for first names with Mexican patronage, based on what I perceive to be Lina and her hubs’ taste. There are a few others that I considered including in the above list and ultimately decided against for various reasons, but thought I’d list them here just in case: Matthew (for St. Mateo Correa Magallanes), Anthony (Bl. Antonio, Child Martyr of Tlaxcala; Bl. Antonio Pérez Lários), and Andrew (Bl. Andrés Solá Molist).

Some other names that I thought might make good middle names include Salvador, both for Jesus and for St. Salvador Lara Puente; Manuel, both for Jesus and for St. Manuel Moralez or Ven. Manuel Martín del Campo (I also love the nickname Manny, so cute!); and Rafael for St. Rafael Guízar y Valencia.

If they wanted to get a little crazy, I also love the ideas of Guadalupe (traditionally used for both boys and girls) and Tepeyac for middle names—so unexpected and Mexican! Or Cruz, which can refer to both Jesus and Mary. Or Mario, which has traditionally been used to honor Our Lady, even though etymologically it’s not related.

I also love the idea of Lorenzo as a middle name, for Lina’s dad!

And if they decided to go off the Mexican-Saint first-name idea (and doing a Mexican Saint in the middle could preserve their Mexican-Saint-name theme without pigeonholing them), Thomas and Francis are two that seem like perfect brothers to their crew (Tommy and Frankie!).

So if I were going to put together some full name ideas, I like:

Philip de Jesús García (I loooove the idea of “de Jesús” in the middle!)
Philip Lorenzo García
David Manuel García
David Salvaldor García
David Lorenzo García
Peter de Jesús García
Peter Lorenzo García
Gregory López García
Gregory Lorenzo García
Gregory Cruz García
Paul Salvador García
Paul Manuel García
Paul Rafael García
Paul Lorenzo García OR Paul Lorenzo Rey García, which I know is a lot of names, but Paul is so short, I think it totally works
Paul Guadalupe García (again a short, familiar name like Paul can take a longer, more exotic middle really well)
Louis Rafael García
Louis Guadalupe García
Thomas Lorenzo García
Thomas Gregorio García
Thomas Felipe García
Francis Lorenzo García
Francis Gregorio García
Francis Felipe García (I love the alliteration here)
Gabriel Salvador García
Ignatius Manuel García

I could go all day coming up with handsome combos, but I’ll stop there! Haha!

And those are all my ideas! What do you all think? What would you suggest for a little brother for John, Joseph, Rita, and Michael, taking into account two Spanish middles and a preference for Mexican saints/blesseds/venerables?

Birth announcement: Claire Marie-Therese!

Our reader Sarah has let me know her third baby has arrived — a sweet little girl with the gorgeous name … Claire Marie-Therese!

Sarah writes,

I wanted to do a name consult but my husband honestly gave me his short list of the only names he would consider (or at least that became apparent in discussion, haha!). So those 5 names were it :). So we are home now with baby Claire Marie-Therese.

Born 1/28/2017
7lbs, 13.5oz
21″ long.

Claire is a name we’ve both loved for ages and obviously, has a great meaning and great Saint attached. My hesitation in using it was her sister’s name: Julianne Clare. But in talking with my mother-in-law, it’s kind of a… tradition?… in DH’s family for siblings to share a middle/first name situation, with a bunch of examples even in this new generation. So I felt better about with so many in the family following this pattern.

Marie is my middle name, and also Marian. My mom’s name is also Mary.

Therese is pretty obviously a reference to the Little Flower, but I also liked weaving in a form of Teresa since Mother Teresa was recently canonized (and her religious name was after St. Therese), and my maternal grandmother’s name was the Polish form of it. I also liked linking Marie and Therese because Mother Teresa and the Little Flower linked the two names (Marie Francoise-Therese Martin and Mary Teresa – Mother’s religious name).

Plus, I wanted Claire to have an extra name in there since she’d be sharing a name with her sister, and her sister kind of (technically not, but practically yes) has a double first name with a lot of Saints in there :).

Debating the hyphen was tough, but we didn’t want her to end up being forced to drop the second middle name on some forms?

So we now have Nathaniel James, Julianne Clare, and Claire Marie-Therese.”

I love this name story! Not only because of the amazing combo Sarah and her husband ended up with (I mean, come on: Claire Marie-Therese is amazing!), but also how Sarah’s hesitation over using the same name for a first name that her older daughter has a middle was assuaged by finding out that her hubs’ family has a tradition of sorts doing that very thing. How cool! I think using a different spelling is pretty great too. And using a double middle that’s sort of like big Sis’ “double” first. And all the saintly connections (I love how Mother Teresa and St. Therese are woven together so nicely!). And Mary! And what great taste Sarah and her hubs have (I love Nathaniel, Julianne, and Claire together!). Great job all around!

Congratulations to the whole family, and happy birthday Baby Claire!!

img_8404

Claire Marie-Therese

Birth announcement: Walter Dominic!

I posted a consultation for Michelle the day after Christmas, and I’m delighted to share that she’s let me know her little guy has arrived — the so-handsomely named … Walter Dominic!

Michelle writes,

Baby boy arrived! After two months of bed rest and nearly three weeks in the hospital due to chronic placenta abruptions we welcomed Walter Dominic on January 21 at 3:30 pm, 6pounds 6ounces! He arrived on the last day of the Dominican Jubilee year, in fact I was able to watch the closing Mass live early that morning after my water broke in the hospital!

I loved loved loved your suggestion of Albert and Gregor and Casper was on the table (especially as I was in the hospital through the week of Epiphany) but ultimately both hubby and I agreed that he was to be Walter Dominic. Servant of God Walter Ciszek along with Holy Father Dominic are both men whom I only pray our son will mirror in this life! Both men whose faith and spirit are relevant in our current world and so with them I pray for our new babe.

We are thrilled he is here and that Our lady kept both of us safe throughout the 36 week pregnancy. Thank you for your ideas!

What an end-of-pregnancy this mama had! And I’m so happy that the baby was born on the last day of the Dominican Jubilee Year, with Michelle having a Dominican sensibility and her other kiddos having such Dominican names — God’s perfect timing! And I love the combo Walter Dominic — it fits in so perfectly with his big sibs’ names, and has such wonderful patrons!

Congratulations to Michelle and her husband and big sibs Henrik, Philip, Martin, Dennis, and Brigit, and happy birthday Baby Walter!!

Walter Dominic and his big siblings!

And a bonus picture! This is from last All Saints’ Day — all the kids (minus Walter of course) dressed up as Dominican saints! 😍

image1-16

Left to right: Fra Angelico (Philip), St. Martin de Porres (Martin), Bl. Imelda (Brigit — her brothers chose for her!), St. Hyacinth (Dennis), St. Dominic (Henrik)

Birth announcement: Theo Peregrin!

Do you all remember Julia’s fun “geeky” consultation from last fall? She (who you might recognize better by her handle, ethelfritha) has let me know her little guy has arrived and been given the fantastic name … Theo Peregrin!

Julia writes,

I wanted to let you know that Theo Peregrin was born on Jan. 21. He was 10 lbs 5 oz and is as healthy as a horse, in addition to being almost as big as one. Everything with labor and delivery went great. He ended up being induced, as he was a week late and I tend to have big babies (obviously!) and everything went right according to plan. Now he alternates between eating, sleeping, eating while sleeping, and generally being squishy and cute.

We still didn’t have a name nailed down when we went into the hospital. Nothing like leaving it til the last second, right? However, we had been throwing Peregrin around for a middle name recently and got really attached to it. We considered several first names to go with it and in the end decided we were OK with Theo not being short for anything. Basically, he can choose his own patron saint from the dozens of holy Theodores, Theodosiuses, Theobalds, and Theodoras out there!

As for Peregrin, I have two sorts of conversations with people about it. The first conversation goes like this:

Other person: Peregrin, that’s so interesting. Where did you get it?
Me: Well, there is a Saint Peregrine.
Other person: Oh, and a falcon, right?
Me: Right!

The second conversation goes like this:

Other person: Did you leave the “e” off the end on purpose?
Me: YES
Other person: ….is it a Lord of the Rings reference?
Me: LET’S BE FRIENDS

Yes, we named our son after Peregrin Took. But also Saint Peregrine, who is awesome!

Also I thought you might be interested in a little anecdotal data I learned from the hospital registrar. When she came by to get Theo’s birth certificate info, she said she didn’t get too many Theos. I asked her what name she did get a lot of, and her answer was immediate: Oliver. And for girls? Evelyn!

Don’t you just love this announcement? I was dying over Julia’s rendition of people asking her about Peregrin! 🤣🤣🤣 Love it!! I also love that they went with “just Theo” — a name they’d liked from the very beginning. And it’s so perfect paired with Peregrin!

Congratulations to Julia and Ben and big sibs Petra and Corwin, and happy birthday Baby Theo!!

IMG_20170124_210945906.jpg

Theo Peregrin