Nicknames

Spotlight on: Oscar

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The scene in the movie “Romero” where the soldiers are shooting up the tabernacle and Archbishop Oscar Romero was risking his life to save the hosts — to literally and freely take the risk of dying for Jesus — was one of the single most moving things I have ever seen — I saw it once in high school and once in college and that scene has stayed with ever since. He was eventually killed while saying Mass “in El Salvador in 1980 by Right-wing death squads. His murder came a day after he had said in a homily that soldiers should obey God’s commands and put down their guns.” (From “Archbishop Oscar Romero was a martyr, declare Vatican Theologians.”)

“Archbishop Romero’s Cause was opened at the Vatican two decades ago but was delayed for years as the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith studied his writings, amid debate over whether he had been killed for his faith or for political reasons.” But now it has been ruled that “Archbishop Oscar Romero was murdered “in hatred of the faith”” — that he was indeed a martyr — and even that the Archbishop “will “almost certainly” be beatified in 2015, and that Francis may skip the beatification and canonise him in San Salvador.”

So: Oscar. It’s one of those names I want to like. It always shows up in lists of names that are similar to names I like. Like … Leo. And Victor. And Hugo, Rosa, and Milo. (All this according to the Baby Name Wizard book.) And it’s got great Irish connections, which is always appeals to my overwhelmingly green heritage — Oscar was the grandson of Fionn mac Cumhail (Finn McCool). It’s somewhat popular in the Scandinavian countries, which is a large part of my husband’s heritage, so that’s appealing as well.

But there’s Oscar the Grouch and Oscar Meyer bologna and (good heavens) Oscar Pistorius. It’s just not a name I could get on board with … until now? Here’s betting a Blessed or Saint Oscar Romero will make the name jump up and dance all over the baby name stats. Oz or Ozzie are cute nicknames for a little guy (Ozzie Osbourne notwithstanding), or even Scar, I suppose, for the edgier among us, and I could see a grown-up Oscar being an athlete (Oscar de la Hoya) or a poet (Oscar Wilde).

What do you think of Oscar? Can you think of other nicknames for it? Do you know any little or big Oscars? What do they think of their name?

Baby name consultant: He likes/she likes

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A reader recently asked me for thoughts on how to find compromise names when Mom’s and Dad’s tastes are vastly different. I’ve mentioned before that I have found over and over that the absolute height of baby naming satisfaction for me is when my husband and I hit on that name that we both agree on. It might not be my very favorite name or his, but I find that I’m much happier and more peaceful with our choice knowing that we agreed on it together. I think I would actually hate it if I got my way, if my husband gave in – I want him to love his children’s names too.

But how do you find that name that you both agree on? For my reader, her preference is Joseph/John/Patrick-type names – names traditional to our faith that “don’t raise too much of an eyebrow.” Her husband loves heavy-hitting uncommon super-Catholicky Catholic names — think Church Father type-names: Polycarp, Irenaeus, Eusebius. Here are three ways I could see working with this:

(1) Nicknames—usual or unusual

To me, a good nickname can solve the vast majority of he likes/she likes disagreements. If the proposed name is too exotic for the other parent’s taste, could a friendly, “normal” nickname be tricked out of it for everyday use? Or the proposed name is too vanilla for the other parent, could a more unusual nickname be fashioned? To tone down the more exotic, Augustine could spend his days as Auggie or Gus; Ignatius as Nate; Cajetan Joseph could go by CJ. To jazz up a more common name, you could try Finn as a nickname for Francis, or Bede for Benedict (a two-for-one saint bonus here! St. Benedict and St. Bede in one little guy), or even something like Rory for Robert or Toby for Thomas Bernard.

(2) Use a saint’s full name as a first and a middle

Like Justin Martyr, Philip Neri, Peter Damian, Anthony Mary Claret (bonus points for Mary in the middle for a boy!), Charles Borromeo, John Chrysostom, Francis de Sales, Nicholas Owen, Thomas Aquinas, Thomas More, John Fisher. Totally heavy hitting but the “crazy” part is hidden in the middle. This article, which I linked to the other day, good naturedly pokes fun at the Catholic tendency to do that, but there is a reason it’s done!

(3) Otherwise compromise

There are a few different ways to do this, of course, and I’m sure you all know them already. For example, for Baby #1 Mom gets to choose the first name and Dad gets to choose the middle; next baby vice versa. Or decide together to have Dad go nuts in the middle name while Mom chooses a more conservative first name. Or find names with overlap – in this case, to bridge Patrick and Polycarp, such overlapping names might include: Augustine, Dominic, Benedict, Simon, Nathaniel, Roman, Adrian, Jude, Matthias, Sebastian, Gabriel, Thaddeus, Jerome. Names that hit you in the face with their Catholicism, but don’t require you to have read The Complete Ante-Nicene & Nicene and Post-Nicene Church Fathers Collection (3 volumes) to know who they are.

What about all of you? How have you handled the inevitable disagreements in baby naming? Do you have a system worked out (e.g., Mom names this baby, Dad the next; Dad chooses first names, Mom chooses middles)? Will you share some of the names you disagreed over?

Let’s talk about pronunciation

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I love a “correctly” spelled and pronounced name as much as the next name nerd. But in my years (and years) of reading reading reading name blogs and name books and name discussion forums, and inserting myself (invited or not) into any name discussions I hear going on around me, I’ve come to realize that I have not always been correct. Or rather, that certain “errors” I sometimes see/hear people make in regards to names are not actually as incorrect as I have believed.

One big example is Kateri.

I am familiar with the Shrine of Our Lady of Martyrs (for the North American Martyrs, including St. Isaac Jogues) in upstate New York, which is at the birthplace of our brand new St. Kateri Tekakwitha. For the life of me, I can’t remember ever hearing anyone who works there actually say the name Kateri, but I’m sure they must have in my presence a thousand times, and since I grew up knowing Kateri is pronounced kah-TEER-ee, I assume that’s how they say it. (Otherwise I’d have some memory of being jarred when hearing a different pronunciation said at the shrine, right?)

Therefore, I always knew that Kateri was pronounced kah-TEER-ee.

Then I made a friend who has a sister named Kateri, and they say kah-TARE-ee.

Then a friend named her daughter Kateri, pronouncing it KAH-ter-ee (nickname Kat, so cute!).

Behindthename.com’s entry for Kateri didn’t even venture a pronunciation, and among the people who commented the following pronunciations emerged as ones they’d heard used or assumed were correct: KAY-teree, kah-tuh-REE, kah-TAR-ie (all I think of with this is the John Wayne movie Hatari and the Atari video game system), and GAH-dah-lee, which is said to be the “authentic Native American pronunciation.”

Given all this, would you be able to say there is one “correct” pronunciation? Which one would it be, and why?

What about Gianna? St. Gianna Beretta Molla is so beloved (for good reason!) that she has a million little namesakes — first names, middle names, Confirmation names, religious names. It seems the Italian/original pronunciation is JAHN-nah, but I’m sure you’ve all heard and/or used the pronunciation jee-AH-na. Does that make the latter wrong? Not in my opinion, and I’ve got good company: My mom was taught by the Sisters of St. Joseph at the convent school she attended from Kindergarten until twelfth grade, and she remembers the Sisters — who were sticklers for every kind of rule — specifically teaching them that when it comes to proper names, no one has the market on the “correct” pronunciation.

Yes, Sister.

How do you say Kateri and Gianna? What other names can you think of that have different pronunciations? (Coming very soon, a spotlight on the grandaddy name of split pronunciation opinions: Xavier.)

Baby name consultant: Suggestions for Baby Fisher

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I think I’ve posted a time or two about blogger/writer/mama-of-many Simcha Fisher, one of my favorites. (Find her at Patheos and National Catholic Register; she also wrote The Sinner’s Guide to Natural Family Planning.) She’s expecting her tenth born baby and has graciously agreed to let me offer some suggestions for the wee one’s name. And I’m trying not to freak out that (1) I get to offer actual suggestions for an actual baby and (2) that the baby’s a Fisher baby. (I’m also trying not to use too many exclamation points.) (!!!)

Simcha and her husband Damien have name tastes that I would characterize as kind of eclectic but consistent, and somewhat contrary, as well as Old World and elegant. Their older children are:

Lena

Dora

Clara

Moses

Elijah

Sophia

Lucy

Irene

Benedicta (“Benny”)

If I wanted to pin down their style more exactly, I might group them thusly:

A little old-fashioned, like black-and-white-movie starlets or a gorgeous antique or a hardworking immigrant: Lena, Dora, Clara, Lucy, Irene, Moses, Elijah

Old Testament/Jewish: Moses, Elijah

Currently popular or on its way there: Clara, Sophia, Lucy, Elijah

Clearly Catholic: Clara, Sophia, Lucy, Irene, Benedicta

Simcha also posted once about other names they’d considered and rejected at one time or another, which gives a further peek into their style—Alma, Ada, Delia, Beryl, Oceania, Moselle, Edith. Though rejected, they seem pretty consistent with the names they did choose.

So with all that information at hand, I have the following three suggestions for first names for each gender, in descending order:

Girl

(1) Stella

Stella has that same starlet feel to me as Lena and Dora; the same old-fashioned feel as Clara and Lucy; and as it’s part of the Marian epithet Stella Maris (“Star of the Sea”) it totally fits in with Lucy and Benedicta.

(2) Esther or Miriam

I really really like Esther for the Fishers. It’s Old Testament/Jewish, like Moses and Elijah (and I love when a name bridges two styles, as seem to loosely exist between the Fisher girls’ names and the boys’ names); it’s old-fashioned; it’s elegant. But I could see not everyone loving the –er ending of Esther with the –er ending of Fisher. If that were the case, Miriam would be my alternate for choice #2—it has similar attributes to Esther, it flows better with the baby’s surname, and it gets bonus points for being a Marian name.

(3) Hannah

Hannah is soft and sweet, like Clara and Lucy. It’s an Old Testament name, like the brothers’ names, and currently the height of popularity, like Sophia.

Boy

(1) Isaac

Simcha and Damien’s taste for boys so far has seemed pretty straightforward: Old Testament/Jewish. Simcha’s parents converted from Judaism to Catholicism when she was a child, so I’ve always assumed Moses and Elijah are nods to her heritage. Isaac certainly fits that mold. It’s also currently fairly popular, which fits in with Sophia and Clara, but old-fashioned at the same time, with its previous peak being in the 1880’s, like Lena and Dora and Moses. It’s also pretty Catholic, what with St. Isaac Jogues being one of the North American Martyrs (and the recent canonization of St. Kateri Tekakwitha helping to raise his profile even more).

(2) Solomon

Old Testament/Jewish, the end. Also wise and kingly, elegant and old-fashioned. A solid, consistent choice for a brother to Moses and Elijah.

(3) Asa

Asa is old-fashioned and Old Testament/Jewish, and it’s short and punchy like Lena and Dora and Lucy. It’s also a bold choice because of its rarity (it peaked in popularity in the 1880s), potential for mispronunciation by those who are unfamiliar with it, and potential for crossover to the girl’s side because of the –a ending. But I get the sense that Fishers would not be swayed by such considerations, and Ace is a pretty cool nickname (if a nickname were to be used).

What do you think? Have I hit the nail on the head or missed altogether? Do you have any suggestions for naming the new Fisher Baby?

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In formulating my thoughts on the Fishers’ name style and determining other names that I think they might like, I consulted The Baby Name Wizard book and web site, especially the Name Voyager and Namipedia, as well as the Behind the Name web site, and my own mind, which contains a lifetime of conversations about names, reading about names, and thinking about names. (Seriously. I never tire of it.)

Nicknames: -addy, -atty

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Recently, I’ve noticed a couple of different nicknames that jumped out at me as pretty cool and went on my consideration list for a future child or story character. Only when considering them together did I realize they all rhyme — honest-to-goodness, I had not realized that until seeing them together. Weird! I often see themes emerge in parents’ naming discussions and decisions that they sometimes are not aware of (like, they haven’t realized that all the names on their short list have an obvious long a sound: Kate, Mae, Aiden, Nathan, and Peyton), and was interested to see that happen to my own self. These were the nicknames:

Caddy: I’d seen this as a nickname for Caroline. Cute! I love the name Caroline, but don’t care for the more obvious/traditional nicknames of Carrie or Caro. Caddy is totally my style.

Taddy: I know two little boys with this nickname, both with the given name Thaddeus. It is a-dorable for a little boy, and Tad has totally grown on me for a teenager/man. Nevermind that I think Thaddeus is just the coolest.

Natty: I have a new-ish friend Natalie who goes by Natty. Natalia’s been on my list for a long time, but I never knew what nickname I’d want to use — I was aware of Natty but it never appealed to me, until knowing the Natty I now know. I think it’s really sweet.

Batt(y): I read that Batt is a traditional nickname for Bartholomew, and since Bartholomew is right up my alley (see Thaddeus above) but I could never see being okay with Bart as the nickname, I was really excited to see Batt. My mind continued along, picturing a baby Bartholomew-called-Batt and imagining Batt turning into Batty once in a while, as names of babies often do, and I was a little swoony about cute that was … but then, I remembered that “batty” isn’t really a great thing to be called. Batt is still cool.

What about you? Have you recognized any themes in your name taste? Maybe you love names starting with a certain letter? Or containing a certain sound? Or of a certain length?

Spotlight on: Nic/k- names

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Not nicknames, Nic/k- names — names that start with Nic/k: Nicholas, Nicodemus, Nicanor, Nikolai, Nico, to name a few.

Last Saturday was the Feast of St. Nicholas, which got me thinking about this post. We’ve considered it once or twice for our boys, mostly to get to the nickname Cole, but I like Nicky too. Cute for a little boy, strong for a man. (Side note about Cole: I love Cole, and we considered using it just as it is as a given name, but it feels just a little too Caden/Brayden/Jayden to me, despite it’s long history of use [Old King Cole!]. We also considered Kolbe nickname Kole, but it too is too trendy feeling to me=just too cool for us.) (I also don’t love the possibility of Cole becoming Coley, as names for babies seem so wont to do. Coley’s a girl’s name.)

Nicodemus: One of my fave fave favorites. (My husband? Not so much.) I’m a big fan of names that are similar to “regular” names but have a twist of some kind; Nicodemus feels that way to me because of the Nic nickname, and because it’s Biblical/New Testament — theoretically it should be just as acceptable as Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Right? But it’s so so rare that I guess no one else agrees with me. 😦 (The Nicodemus of NIMH hasn’t helped.)

Nicanor: Pretty cool huh? It’s a saint’s name, it’s got a great nickname, it’s unusual, it kind of sounds like a Lord of the Rings/Narnia/Sword in the Stone kind of name. Why aren’t more parents choosing Nicanor?

Nikolai: Swoon. That’s all I have to say. Because it sounds so Russian to my ear, if we were of Russian extraction, I’d be all over this. (Though it’s also Scandinavian, as are my children … and actor Nikolaj Coster-Waldau rocks it, and he’s not Russian — he’s Danish … hmm …)

Nico: I just love Nico. It’s short and sweet; it’s traditional and masculine; it’s pan European, which I really like in a name. But it feels too cool/hip/Italian for us.

There are other loads of other Nicholas variations besides those mentioned here (e.g., Nils, Claus), and feminine versions as well (e.g., Nicole/Nicola, Colette) — if you want to honor a Nicholas in your life/family tree or St. Nicholas himself, you have loads of options. Which are your favorites?

Spotlight on: Cornelius

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Today is the feast of Pope St. Cornelius, so what better name to spotlight than his?

Cornelius. Not a common name. I’m not quite sure what to think about it. On the one hand, it’s a Pope’s name, and a pope who became a saint (he combated heresy and an anti-pope and died a martyr). It’s also an old Roman family name, and has become one of those pan-European names, with a variant in nearly every European language. Some of them are quite cool, like Cai/Kai/Caj/Kaj (Danish, Finnish, Norwegian, Swedish), and there are some interesting diminutives too, like Cees/Kees (Dutch). I knew a man whose first name was Cornelius, but he always went by Neil, which is also a possibility. And I just discovered that Connie Mack‘s given name was Cornelius McGillicuddy, Sr. That is really cool. (I cannot recommend strongly enough to always always read the comments for each entry on Behind the Name — there is so much great real-world information there.)

On the other hand, though, Corny is a pretty natural nickname. Corny just doesn’t work these days. Right? I think kids still say it: “You’re so corny,” “That’s so corny.” Which is a bad thing. Or at least not a good thing. Right? Additionally, Corny always makes me think of Cornflake S. Pecially, which shouldn’t be a bad association (Mr. Rogers!) but isn’t a good one, in my opinion, for a baby. And as cool as the Connie Mack connection is, Connie just doesn’t seem doable for a boy these days (see also: Carroll, Meredith, Courtney …). Really, for me, I can’t see being able to warm up to Cornelius.

Which is really unfortunate, because I do love its historical and religious pedigree and international flavor. It’s got all the elements I look for in a boy’s name, but sometimes … that’s just not enough. (Alexander is another name that I feel similarly about — it hits all the right notes except the one that makes me like it. A post for another day.) If you love Pope St. Cornelius, or have a Cornelius in the family you’d like to honor, I could see it being a smashing middle name. Or, consider the female variant Cornelia, with its own history (the name of a woman considered to be the “ideal Roman woman”) and many sweet nicknames (Corrie, Lia, and my favorite: Nell).

Do you know anyone named Cornelius? Does he like his name? Does he have a nickname?

Two new (to me) name blogs

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I came across two new (to me) name blogs today: Appellation Mountain and Roses and Cellar Doors. It was actually this AM post, in which author Abby* noted, “Roses & Cellar Door’s post It’s Big Overseas is genius!  Why don’t we hear Olga, Joachim, Tecla, Emil – or their equivalents? – in the US?” that sent me to the mentioned R&CD post. I’m a huge fan of names with a pan-European feel — names that have an equivalent in most European languages — and I would argue the vast majority of such names are saints names. Check out the names on the R&CD list — are any of them NOT saint names?? And one of my very favorites is on there: Joachim.

*I just have to note that on Abby’s “About” page she says her and her husband’s naming style has shaken down to “classics on the birth certificate; unexpected nicknames in real life.” Very well articulated — I myself love that approach.

Nicknames: Getting to Bo/Beau

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I always find it interesting when parents start the naming process with a nickname they love, and then try to backtrack into a given name. Some really cool first-middle combos can result. I came across this post today that seeks to offer formal given names for for both boys and girls for the nickname Bo/Beau, I really loved some of the suggestions, especially the unexpected ones.