Birth announcement: Fulton Michael!

I posted a consultation for Monica and her husband back in May, and Monica’s let me know her little one has arrived — a boy! And they gave him the so-handsome name … Fulton Michael! He joins big sisters Cora Marie and Regina Marie (and brother in heaven Levi Alphonsus), and his mama writes,

Our son arrived today [August 8 — feast of St. Dominic], on Cora’s 5th birthday. My kids must love St. Dominic! After 4 painful hours of going back and forth on names, we decided to name him Fulton Michael. He’s doing great and I’m thankful he has a name now. 

Thank you again for your time and suggestions! He was very close to having the middle name Clement, if we had gone with our other option.”

What a wonderful, meaningful name!! And look at that sweet baby face!! (Be sure to scroll past the picture, because there’s more beneath it!)

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Fulton Michael

As a fun bonus, Monica also included a picture of her sister, who is now a novice with the Handmaids of the Heart of Jesus in New Ulm, MN. She thought we might enjoy hearing the names of the new novices — um, yes please!!! 😁😍

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Mother Mary Clare (left) with Sr. Therese Marie, Sr. Angela Mary, Sr. Maria Benedicta (my sister), and Sr. Regina Marie

Look at those joyful Sisters! And their beautiful names! What a blessing Sr. Maria Benedicta is to Monica and her whole family! (If you click on that link I provided above to the Handmaids of the Heart of Jesus web site, you’ll see a little slideshow on the homepage of the profession ceremony — so moving!)

Congratulations to the whole family! Happy birthday Baby Fulton!! And congratulations to his auntie, Sr. Maria Benedicta!!

Celebrity guest: Lindsay from My Child I Love You

Happy feast of St. Edith Stein, aka St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross! The Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist posted about her today on FB, and I thought this bit from their post was so beautiful:

Teresa died in the gas chambers of Auschwitz in 1942 at the age of fifty-one … Out of the unspeakable human suffering caused by the Nazis in western Europe in the 1930’s and 1940’s, there blossomed the beautiful life of dedication, consecration, prayer, fasting, and penance of Saint Teresa. Even though her life was snuffed out by the satanic evil of genocide, her memory stands as a light undimmed in the midst of evil, darkness, and suffering.”

Evil will. not. win.

It’s also my second boy’s tenth birthday! He’s so excited about his birthday — he’s only been waiting for it for the last eleven months and three weeks — so we’re in full-on celebration mode here! 🎉🎈🎆 So it’s just the perfect day for this post, which I’m so excited about. First, an introduction:

Lindsay blogs at My Child I Love You about life with her husband and their beautiful children. Many many times my the-world-is-getting-me-down moments have been soothed by the sweetness and simplicity of her posts and photos, and I followed with desperate prayerfulness her youngest born baby’s pre-birth omphalocele diagnosis (here and here) and post-birth struggles (here and here), and Lindsay’s beloved mother’s battle with cancer (and her doctors-say-it’s-not-but-for-her-and-her-family-it-is miraculous healing!) and a recent (but not only) miscarriage.

Lindsay’s faith shines through every post and photo and word I’ve ever seen come from her, and it does so in another way as well: her children’s names. Oh her children’s names!! I admit they’re what caught my attention in the first place, when I first happened upon her blog when her No. 7 was a baby, and I eagerly awaited the revelation of the names of Nos. 8 and 9. I’ve learned from her so much more of what’s possible in bestowing names of our faith. I love how eclectic and outside-the-box her children’s names are while still being firmly and explicitly rooted in our faith, and I wouldn’t even know where to begin if I were to try to come up with ideas for her for her Baby No. 10 because, yes, she’s expecting a new little one this winter!! How wonderful!!

Despite the fact that I don’t know her in real life, I really craved a good name conversation with Lindsay, and so I was delighted when she agreed to do a guest post about “names” — just that! — I didn’t even want to narrow it down any further than that, because I wanted to hear everything! But of course a question-and-answer format is easier, so I asked all the questions I could think of, and she graciously and patiently answered each one. I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I did!

💐💐💐

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Kate: Where do you look for name inspiration? (I don’t want to confuse the question and I’d love your gut-reaction answer, but this also might help: Do you draw exclusively from saints to whom you already have a devotion, or do you sometimes happen upon a name you like and then seek to cultivate a devotion to that saint?)

Lindsay: I look everywhere for name inspiration. Of course, saints are my surest go-to, but I also enjoy researching countries that have Catholic beginnings, Catholic places of worship, towns that the great and maybe hidden saints came from as to honor that wonderful place this saintly person walked in. It is wonderful to explain the origins of the name Clairvaux or Lourdes. I love how our faith infiltrates every piece of God’s wonderful land. California couldn’t scream CATHOLIC loud enough. San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles, San Bernardino. We could go on an on. San Antonio, Texas. St. Augustine, Florida. St. Louis, Missouri. I love that God leaves His handprint everywhere.

Europe is separate story all by itself. The vastness of Catholicism is overwhelming to me when I think of Europe and its historical beauty. There are so many stories to be told. I love dissecting the French towns to discover their origins and what wonderful person once lived there.

I also love the “little” spiritual guys. I love their massive stories that God has not yet revealed in their fullness to the world quite yet because his timing is ALWAYS perfect and each story is destined for a specific point in history. I think of St. Thomas More. The grandness of his story didn’t surface until 500 years after his death. His virtue was actually forgotten for centuries. God wasn’t ready for him yet!

I love the stories of Titus Brandsma, Emil Kapaun, Frank Quinn, Marthe Robin, Luisa Piccaretta, Bl. Matt Talbot, Fr. Gereon Goldmann and Bl. Andre Bessette. The stories of these holy and brave men and women who lived their lives for Christ motivate me to constantly focus on why we were even created.

I take their names and take them apart like a scientist. I look up French versions of their names. I look up different nationalities and check to see how they pronounce certain names. I read about the towns they come from and how those towns or cities were established. This is where Catholicism is often discovered in the deepest crevices of our lives.

Biographies have always been my favorite genre of literature. I read about their devotions and try to fit that into the name. For example, Matt Talbot had a huge devotion to Our Lady. I was trying to work that into Lourdes’ name. He also loved St. Louis de Montfort. At one point, her name was going to be Talbotts Marie-Monfort. We went a different direction due to a small stirring of events, but I still love it. It fit everyone in the name we wanted to honor. St. Louis de Montfort’s 30-day consecration played a very pivotal role in John and I’s relationship. At one point, we were discerning if God was calling us not to the married vocation, but to the religious life. We prayed the consecration with open hearts and on one of the final days, a priest friend, Fr. John Heisler, visited unexpectedly and pointed us to marriage after much discussion. We promised to pray a Hail Mary for him everyday the rest of my life.

Kate: I’d love to hear your name story for each of your children, if you don’t mind sharing!

Lindsay: Here is the name story of each of our children:

Each of our children have some version of the name Mary in their name.

1. Dominic Savio Joseph Mary George Boever
Topping the charts of my favorite saints is St. John Bosco. He is the patron of our homeschool. As I child, I was so touched by his love of children and his desire that each child know they were wanted. I read anything I could find on him. One of his holiest students was St. Dominic Savio. We didn’t even hesitate to name our first son after this saintly little boy. He had such God-given wisdom at such a young age. Ironically, our Dominic is so much like his patron. St. Dominic Savio’s story has made an impression upon our Dominic’s soul. My mother described our Dominic so perfectly, “It is as if God has taken a hold of his soul.” Our sons have a a version of Mary and the name Joseph in their middle name. Dominic chose George as his Confirmation name.

2. Lillie Maria Goretti John Paul Boever
It is always funny to me how names come and go. Our girl name when I was pregnant with Dominic was Vianney. We had offered our marriage for an increase in priestly vocations and being that St. John Vianney is the patron of priests, we wanted to honor him in this way. PLUS, St. John Vianney is also one of my very favorite stories. He modeled the motto “Do small things well” so perfectly in the little town of Ars. He is a model for all those who think that their little hidden lives are not enough. During my pregnancy with Lillie, John mentioned the name of Lillie. I had carried 14 white lilies in my wedding bouquet to honor St. Maria Goretti and her willingness to die for the virtue of purity and chastity. For those not familiar with St. Maria Goretti’s story, she was stabbed 14 times by young Alessandro Serenelli who wanted her to do impure acts. What a wonderful patron for a young woman. She chose St. John Paul II for her Confirmation name.

*We lost our 3rd child Benedict Joseph Labre Mary Boever to miscarriage at 8 weeks.

4. Rose Marie-Therese Boever
John loved the name Rose. St. Therese is known for her love of roses. So going along with the theme of lilies corresponding with St. Maria Goretti, we gave Rose her name with the same intention. Rose was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen and with the sweetest temperament to match. As she has gotten older, Rose has developed such fondness for St. Rose of Lima. She is going to pick Ven. Solanus Casey for her Confirmation name.

*We lost our 5th child Margaret Mary Alacoque Boever to miscarriage at 6 weeks.

6. Zellie Marie-Guerin Boever
(pronounced Zellie like jelly with a Z)
We were slowly leaning into a French naming trend. We joked that the girls would love being known as their father’s beautiful bouquet as we had a Lillie, Rose, and now Zellie.

(St. Zelie Guerin’s real name is Azelie or Azalia after the flower azalea.) I read a few books about then Bl. Zelie Martin and admired her tender mothering ways. It is really cute as our Zellie LOVES her name.

*We lost our 7th child Francis Mary Xavier to miscarriage at 6 weeks.

8. Vianney Jean-Marie Boever
(pronounced Vee-on-ee)
Vianney has such an amazing story name to me. Like I mentioned above, we loved the name Vianney with our first pregnancy and then it faded to the background. During my pregnancy with her, God had not shown us a girl name. We had actually forgotten all about the name Vianney. I was driving home from bible study and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I called John, “If we have a girl, her name should be Vianney.” He couldn’t have agreed more. We didn’t know she was a girl until delivery, but I knew she was going to be a girl because her name was written on my heart. At her baptism, Monsignor Nemec asked us if we knew that Pope Benedict had just declared this coming year “The Year of Priests and St. John Vianney.” NO! We had no idea. He was a bit confused and asked again if we had any idea. We had no idea and it was so interesting to us that her name was revealed to us at that specific time for that year. I love her story so much.

9. Clairvaux Marie-Frances Boever
(pronounced Clare-vough: like hairbow)
We have mutual friends who have a daughter named Clairvaux. Keeping with my love of French sounding names, I knew we would have a Clairvaux. My uncle is a monk at the Clear Creek Monastery in Oklahoma. We lived in Oklahoma for four years while John was in medical school. We visited the monastery often and one monk stood out to me. His name was Fr. Francis Defeydo. Before entering the monastery in France, he was an accomplished and decorated French navy pilot. His parents were very upset with his decision to give his life to Christ. He was so handsome and given so many worldly gifts, yet he gave it all up for Christ. He had such a humble way about him that really intrigued us.

The year our Clairvaux was born, he was diagnosed with a brain tumor and died a very holy death. My mother and I visited his grave a couple months before Clairvaux was born so we knew we wanted to honor his heroic life in our new baby’s name. Hence, the Frances in her name.

10. Damaris Catherine-Mary Boever
(pronounced Duh-Mare-iss)
We were stumped with naming Damaris. She was nameless until the last few hours of our stay in the hospital. She was such a beautiful baby and we couldn’t find a name to match the face we were staring into. My mother’s name is Damaris which means “of Mary” and John’s mother’s name is Catherine. The name Damaris is mentioned by St. Paul in Acts and there is also a St. Damaris of Athens. After debating several names, her name came to us to honor all three of our mothers.

11. Kapaun Joseph Mary Boever
(pronounced K-pen)
We are still getting over the thrill of having another little boy. We love our girls so much and after six in a row, we pretty much knew we were going to have girls from here on out! When I heard the words, “It’s a BOY”, they might have well said, “It’s a unicorn!” What??? Let me see this mythical creature I heard of named “boys” yet have not seen for many years. It was so fun. I had read about Fr. Emil Kapaun during his pregnancy. His heroism and devotion to others had me at hello. I admired how he spent his hidden days in the camp scurrying from tent to tent tending to the wounded while HE HIMSELF was wounded. The prisoners were given one rice patty a day. They were starving. One day, four men were fighting over a rice patty and Fr. Kapaun stepped in and said, “Here! Have mine! I don’t want it.” Then, proceeded to cut his small rice patty into fourths. The men were taken aback by his humbleness. Although he is well-known for his selfless ways, he was fearless in his defense of the faith. He was such a meek and mild fellow, but if the guards mocked Our Lord, he called them out every time often taking terrible punishments for doing so. We loved him. I mentioned to John that if we would ever have another boy, we should name him Kapaun. Also, Fr. Emil Kapaun’s confirmation name is Joseph so that fit perfectly with putting Mary and Joseph in our son’s name. There is a shrine in Pilsen, Kansas to Fr. Emil Kapaun. We have not been, but someday we will take our Kapaun there to show him that wonderful man who loved Christ so much.

12. Lourdes Marie-Talbot Boever
(pronounced Loo-ahrds, not Loor-dees like the Spanish pronunciation)
Lourdes has a very long story. You can read about her story HERE. To sum up her name, she was going to be named many things during her pregnancy. About a month before delivery, the doctors decided to induce on the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes due to her health concerns. My mom texted me later that week and said, “Lindsay, I know her name. Lourdes Marie-Talbot Boever. She is supposed to tell the world about Our Lady of Lourdes.” I called John and he, too, was convinced of her name.

Fast forward a few weeks, I was visiting my grandmother and she was casually telling me about her visit to Ireland several years back. We were discussing back and forth about Matt Talbot and his Irish ways and devotions. She loves Matt Talbot and I mentioned he was my confirmation name. My grandmother told me about finding his shrine in Ireland by mistake and it was at this one church, “Ummm, let me see. Our Lady of Lourdes. Matt had a huge devotion to Our Lady of Lourdes.” NO WAY!!! I had no idea. I screeched, “That is what we are naming this baby!! ” How did God do that? He tied everything together so perfectly.

The date she was being induced. The saint we had been praying to and HIS favorite devotion. All into one name! Crazy to us!

13. We lost our 13th child to miscarriage in early 2016. We have not named this baby yet. We are still waiting to discover the name.

14. I am due December 5th with our 14th child. We have a smashing boy’s name that we love. We have narrowed the girl’s name down to three possibilities.

Kate: What role does John play in naming our children? Do you each come up with ideas, or is it more like you suggest names and he says yes or no?

Lindsay: John and I share the exact same naming desires. He loves the deep meanings as much as I do. He loves the heroism of the saints like Fr. Emil Kapaun. I am probably the Sherlock Holmes and he is the Watson. I am constantly looking, reading, investigating, and telling him about someone new I read about. I would be lost without his Captain Obvious skills in pointing out the nicknames that might arise if certain names are given to our children. (i.e. Ben Boever [bend over] — probably shouldn’t name a child Ben. Although, we did name the baby we miscarried Benedict)

Kate: Do you take nicknames into account when you’re choosing first names? Like, maybe you like a nickname and back-fit into a first name from there (you like Beth so you choose Elizabeth)? Or you hate the nickname Sam so you cross off Samuel/Samson/Samantha from your list of considerations? Or do you just choose names you love and don’t mind the nicknames that arise naturally?

Lindsay: Nothing is off limits. Like I mentioned above, I feel like a scientist to the degree that I take apart names and dissect them like no other. I love discovering the deeper meaning and origins to each particular name all the way back to Greek and Latin roots. I love discovering who which saints had devotions to. I love knowing the saints’ confirmation name, their parents’ names, where they were born, which parish they attended, which convent or monastery they were apart of, which symbols are associated with them. I love discovering what they loved and honoring them in that way.

We have a terrible case of the nicknames. Our poor children. I don’t know how to break the habit. Everyone has so many nicknames that it really should bring into question why we spend so much time giving them their legal name. I love it though!

Kate: What are some of your ideas that you never got to use? Or that you’d love to see others use that might not be quite right for you?

Lindsay: My sister, Kristin, is married to man that immigrated from the Ukraine when he was 8-years-old. There are 16 children in his family. Their culture, families, and food are so fascinating. I LOVE all their names, but they certainly have a Russian tone. We aren’t Russian so they just don’t quite work. A few that stick out are Reuvum, Edict, Slavic, and Milana. I love so many Russian names, but they just don’t fit our Irish/German/French heritage.

I also love the idea of Irish names with their unique spellings and pronunciations.

Kate: I think I remember that you’re from a big family, is that right? And your husband as well? So you probably have a bunch of nieces and nephews—what do you think about cousins sharing names? Or even the children of a close circle of friends?

Lindsay: Yes! I am the second of ten children. John is the second of eight children. God has given our children many cousins on both sides which is so very wonderful. John’s parents have 40 grandchildren so far and my parents have 31 grandchildren so far. We both have siblings that are newly married and several unmarried. We look forward to each new birth like it is the first. There is no greater joy than baby days in our families. It truly is wonderful and celebrated each time.

Amongst our families, everybody is so wonderful about sharing names and actually, I think most would deem it an honor if someone used the name that you have already used. Ironically, we don’t have any doubles yet. I love the names everyone has chosen and some that stick out are Scholastica, Athanasius, Magnus, Avila, Abraham, Rome, Edith, and Marian. Although, I love all the names our siblings have picked out. Everyone is so thoughtful and intentional with their names.

Now amongst our friends, it is a different story in regards to repeating names. We live in Lincoln, Nebraska and Catholicism is certainly alive and well in this wonderful place. There are many repeats and it certainly seems that everyone just knows that LIFE is certainly in abundance in our parishes so names are going to be repeated. It truly is a wonderful problem to have. I love gatherings especially when there are 7 Georges present, 5 Peters and 3 Marias.

Kate: You told me you’ve helped some of your friends with their baby naming—would you mind sharing some of your favorite final results?

Lindsay: Oh Yes! I think my close friends know my love for beautiful names. I had a few friends ask what names I had discovered during their pregnancies.

1. My friend Kristi has five children. She loves traditional and family rooted names. With their 4th child (baby girl), they were stuck on what to name her. I woke up one morning, called her and said, “Her name should be Evelyn.” Kristi immediately went, “YES! That’s it!” Come to find out, it was a family name and worked out so perfect.

2. My friend Leah was pregnant with their 4th child. They had three boys and asked what baby girl names I had been cooking up. They specifically wanted a biblical name. They liked unique, yet shorter names. I suggested, “Lael.” She immediately said, “YES! That’s it.” ‘Lael’ means ‘one who belongs to God.’

3. My friend Emily and I were sitting one afternoon watching our girls during ballet practice. We were both due about the same time with our 8th babies. I was due a few weeks before her. We were talking names and mentioned they were stuck on what to name their baby boy. I said, “Here! Name him this! I grabbed a piece of paper and wrote ‘Campion’ for St. Edmund Campion.” I told her if we had a boy, which we probably won’t, but if we do, we will name him either Kapaun or Campion. She loved it and said her husband was just reading about St. Edmund Campion. Well, I DID have a boy and we named him Kapaun. When Kapaun was born, she texted me and asked if she could really use the name Campion. OF COURSE!!! Do it! So now we have Kapaun Boever and Campion Villa a few weeks apart. She told me she kept that piece of paper I wrote his name on and put it in his baby box. I love that story!

Wasn’t that just the most wonderful interview?! Aren’t you just as a-swoon with Lindsay’s naming sensibilities as I am? So very many thanks to Lindsay for giving us a peek inside the Boever Family Naming Process, and please all remember to pray for her and her baby and family!

💐💐💐

Baby name consultant: Kolbe’s little brother

Happy feast of St. Dominic!! 🙌🐕🐾🙏 It’s a special one too, because this year is the Dominicans’ 800th annivesary of its founding!!

(Off topic but on topic, that link brings you to an interview about this Jubilee Year with Fr. Cassian Derbes, OP. Cassian!)

Being a lay Dominican, today is always a special day for me, and I’m feeling celebratory 🎉🎉🎉 so not only do I have this consultation for you today (I LOVE the Monday consultation posts!), but I have a special treat for you all tomorrow, which is also the feast of St. Edith Stein AND my No. 2’s tenth birthday! I can’t wait for you to see it! What a great couple of days!

But first! Tori and her husband are expecting heir second baby, a second boy! She writes,

Our oldest is Kolbe Daniel. Daniel is my husband’s name and we both really love St. Maximilian. We were considering naming him Eli Augustine which we still like. Other names that were thrown around were:

Lucas
Xavier

And if he was a girl we were thinking Stellamaris.

For this baby we are really liking Blaise … not sure about middle names and that’s the only name we’ve seriously talked about. If he was a girl we were thinking Azelie.”

Well I just love this family’s style — I’m a huge fan of all these names!

I so much enjoyed working on this not only because I love their taste in names but also because it’s pretty fun that they have, in a sense, a pretty clean slate with only Kolbe’s name and a few names they like to use as inspiration.

I was interested to note that Xavier, Blaise, and Azelie all share a prominent Z sound, but I couldn’t think of others that I thought Tori and her hubs might like– I’d be interested in any ideas you all had for Z-sound boy names that would fit with Kolbe.

You all know that I almost always start a consultation by looking up the names the parents have used and those they like/are considering in the Baby Name Wizard as it lists, for each entry, boy and girl names that are similar in terms of style/feel/popularity, but it’s not always helpful for those who love Catholicky Catholic names as this family does—Kolbe, Azelie, and Stellamaris aren’t included in the book, for example. But never fear—I was able to come up with quite a few ideas for based on the names that *are* in the BNW (Eli, Lucas, Xavier, Blaise, Stella) as well as my own ideas.

So! All that said, I did also want to just say that starting with a saintly surname (Kolbe) presents a somewhat of an interesting situation in that most of the names that I would say are most similar to Kolbe’s style are other saintly surnames (I did a post on them a while ago), but if Tori and her hubs choose another saintly surname for their second baby, will they feel like they’ve cornered themselves into a particular style?

I spent some time thinking about that and decided that I think going with another name that seems obviously surnamey—like Vianney or Bosco—for their second baby might very well create that boxed-in feeling. For some reason, it feels different to me than if they named their first two babies with names beginning with K—in general, I would say that a theme hasn’t been created until three or more babies are so named, but the last-name-as-first-name thing is tripping me up!

I decided, though, that I think Xavier is the kind of surname that would be totally fine to use for their second baby because of the fact that it’s been used as a first name for so long that a lot of people (especially non-Catholics) don’t know it started as a surname.

I do think that if they have a bunch of kids, there’s no problem at all with having some with saintly surname names and some with regular first names as long as they’re all interspersed, does that makes sense? Eli and Lucas are both great options that would help mix it up (I’d also love it if they wanted to move Augustine from the middle spot to the first name spot. Or August? Or Ambrose? Ooh — Ambrose has a prominent Z sound! At least the way I say it … maybe that would appeal? I love the nickname ideas Sam, Bram, and Brody).

Of course if Tori and her hubs hate all of what I’m saying, then I hope they know I expect them to completely disregard it! My only hope is to be a help, not to add stress! In the end, giving your children names you love is a great gift.

Okay! So these are my other ideas for this little guy:

(1) Fulton
As with Xavier, I feel like Fulton would be a fine choice for Kolbe’s little brother, since it started as a last name but most people know it as Fulton Sheen’s first name.

(2) John Paul, JohnPaul, Johnpaul, John-Paul
John Paul (or however they’d want to spell it) is such a great match for Kolbe in my opinion! It’s obviously faithy and thought it’s two names together, they’re short names so the whole thing is only two syllables, which seems the length that Tori and her hubs are drawn to.

(3) Bennett
I almost listed Benedict, but Benedict doesn’t seem quite right to me for this family—a bit clunkier maybe than I think they might like—so Bennett seems a great option. It’s a medieval diminutive of Benedict, and it’s got a surname feel (and of course some usage that way), as well as the awesome nickname Ben.

(4) Leo
Leo is an awesome little package of a name—masculine, traditional, and saintly (Pope St. Leo the Great!).

(5) Gabriel
Gabriel’s a style match for both Lucas and Xavier, and I consider it to be a Marian name as well (for the Annunciation). It’s one of my favorite names for boys—full of faith significance, and the friendly nickname Gabe is great (I’ve also seen Gil, which I looove).

(6) Jude
Finally, Jude, for our beloved St. Jude Thaddeus. Awesome name, awesome patron. I did a spotlight on it here.

What do you all think of these ideas? What other name(s) would you suggest for Kolbe’s little brother?

Continued prayers please

The mama who thought she might be miscarrying was, unfortunately, right. She thanks us for our prayers, and I ask you to please continue to pray for her and her family as they grieve the loss of their baby. ❤🙏

I’m a bit backed up — thanks for your patience!

I know you all know how summer is! Between swimming and sunning and traveling I’ve gotten a little backed up — I know I have a few emails I need to respond to, and I’m working away on consultations too — I hope to get caught up this weekend, so if you’re waiting to hear from me, don’t despair! 😁

When do you name your baby and why?

Such an interesting conversation yesterday! You all had such great thoughts! I’ll be definitely be musing on this for a while …

I have another question for you all today! A mama I did a consultation for recently who’s expecting her first baby asked:

I’m also curious about the differences in naming a baby before he’s born and naming him after you see him. In some ways, I’m anxious for him to have a name, but in other ways I keep thinking I need to see him to know what his name is, you know?

My husband and I have always decided on our babies’ names during the pregnancy, and then that was the baby’s name, so I didn’t feel like I had a great answer for her. But I know it’s really common to wait to see the baby before deciding on a name, so I’d love to hear especially from any of you who waited to see your baby before deciding on a name. Did you have two (or more) finalists that you intended to choose between based on which seemed the best fit for your new baby?

For those of you who thought you had the name nailed down, only to meet your baby and decide it wasn’t quite right at all — what was that like? Did you have a backup name just in case, or did you have to scramble and start over?

Do you have any other advice for this first-time mom?

Cultural appropriation?

I had a conversation a while ago with a woman I know who was due soon with a little girl and still trying to figure out a name. In the course of the conversation I suggested Pilar as a middle name idea — it flowed really well with the first name ideas on the list she and her husband had compiled, and though neither she nor her husband are Hispanic, they are into more unusual Catholic names, and of course Pilar’s Marian, and you know me, always trying to get those Marian names in there. So I was really surprised when she said she’d run Pilar by her husband and he’d said no because he’s “not into cultural appropriation.”

I was so taken aback! I honest-to-goodness never considered that any of the names associated with our faith would be a problem for Catholics, whether they be the names of saints from other countries (or our own) (I’m looking at you, St. Kateri) or titles of Mary in another language — I’ve always just figured that it all belongs to all of us. Like, such names *are* our culture — Catholic culture, which embraces and celebrates — and transcends — human culture. Even after thinking about it for the months since I had that conversation, I’m still of the opinion that it’s all okay.

I totally get that the woman’s husband was just expressing his personal preference to not use names of a culture that’s not his nor his wife’s — which is totally fine and understandable! And it probably has just as much to do with the fact that he probably just doesn’t like Pilar anyway — it was just the use of the term “cultural appropriation” that gave me a start, being politically charged as it is.

I suspect I know what you all think, you non-Native American parents of Kateris and non-Spanish parents of Xaviers 😏,  but I’m still interested in hearing your thoughts on this. Do you think there are any Catholic names that are off limits for Catholics for reasons related to “cultural appropriation”?

Baby name consultant: Baby No. 11 (girl) (no repeating initials!)

Martha and her husband are expecting their eleventh (!) baby — their fourth girl! This Little Miss joins big sibs:

David Zachary
Caleb Daniel
Jesse Robert
Ethan Wyatt
Kathryn Cecilia
Aaron Mathias
Tobias Xavier
Bridget Darling
Phoebe Noelle
Levi Thaddeus

I looooove these names, each so great! You can see that the boys all have biblical first names, though the girls don’t follow suit. I really love sisters Kathryn, Bridget, and Phoebe — such great sister names, so chic!

Martha writes,

All first names must be saints … Middle names do not have to be saints though. No first name can start with the same letter as our other children. None of the children can be named after anyone we know, family or otherwise. We don’t want a name that is very common, but nothing way out there. We prefer traditional spellings … Dh loves Maewyn or Willow. I don’t think Maewyn fits as a saint name and am not keen on naming my girl after a tree … Our last baby was called “Poor Little No Name” until just weeks before he was born, so I hope you can help us avoid last minute naming stress this time.

We have some names we both like, but for some reason they just aren’t feeling like her to us.

We both like Sophia and Isabel or Isadora, but not as first names because they have become so popular lately.  Also, we do not like potential nicknames of Izzy or Dora.
My husband is suddenly leaning towards using variants of either my first name or middle name, Martha Lee.  I have no idea why.  I’ve never liked either myself.  But we were both sorta okay with the “lee” sounds in Leah or Lily (as a middle). And Iliana, which is not a saint.

The husband is still pitching hard for Maewyn Willow or Xena Isabella. (XI = 11) I am not even slightly fond of either.

I like Helen or Zelie Sophia, he does not like Helen at all and doesn’t like Zelie because he likes a name with clear pronunciation and thinks people will be confused about whether it is ZEL-ee or Zay-lee.  He also quibbles that if I dislike naming our girl after a tree, it makes no sense to be okay with naming her first name after a flowery bush. Got me on that I suppose. lol

I was telling the husband the other day that I like Seraphina but it is a hard one to find a middle name for!  He likes Danae, but I think that sounds harsh and too close to deny.  I like Roux, but dh says he isn’t naming her after sauce starter.”

Did you chuckle as much as I did when reading Martha’s dilemma? She and her Mister sound like quite the funny pair!

This was a lot of fun to work on—big families with lots of naming rules/restrictions are seriously so fun for me!

So first off, regarding Zelie, yes, its pronunciation isn’t set—they can choose their own and as long as they’re firm and consistent I don’t think it (or any name with various pronunciations) is an issue. (I wrote about Zelie’s pronunciation here and here.) I also wanted to point out that Lindsay’s daughter at My Child I Love You who’s named after St. Zelie has the spelling Zellie, which makes their desired pronunciation really obvious — maybe that spelling would be a good idea for this family?

And good news! (Maybe?) Iliana *can* be considered a saint’s name! I don’t know how exact it has to be for Martha and her hubs (some people are okay with variants of saints’ names and some aren’t), but my trusty go-to source for name meanings (behindthename.com) says Iliana is a variant of Elias (which is a variant of Elijah), and the spelling Ileana may be a variant of Helen. Cool right?!

Maewyn is interesting to me as a first name as well—I’d never heard of it so I looked it up and learned that it was St. Patrick’s birth name!! Wow! It does strike me as more feminine for our modern sensibilities—it has a really pretty sound, and I keep seeing the “Mae,” which on its own is generally considered a variant of Mary (which I love—Marian names are my favorite!).

And Xena Isabella for the XIth baby?? Pretty genius!! 😀 I looked it up and discovered it’s a variant of Xenia, which I actually do quite like, and she’s revered as a saint in the Eastern Church, but as far as I can tell she’s not recognized in ours? BUT I did a little more digging and discovered St. Xantippa, who *is* one of our saints—feast day Sept. 23 with St. Polyxena (Xena could work for Polyxena, no?)—both first-century Spanish martyrs. So they definitely have some options if they  want to use an X name! If they used such a long name as Xantippa though, I might suggest going shorter than Isabelle for the middle? Maybe Ivy or Iris?

Regarding Helen, I wonder what they’d think of Nell or Nellie? Maybe Martha’s husband would like them better than Helen? They’re traditional nicknames for Helen, so St. Helen can still be patron; they’re also style matches (according to the Baby Name Wizard which lists, for each entry, boy and girl names that are similar in terms of style/feel/popularity) for Mae, which is one of the names I looked up for inspiration (since Maewyn wasn’t listed).
Regarding Willow, it’s important to note that this is only a middle name contender, and though I really loved the idea of changing it to Willa for a first name, as a nod to any of the Sts. William, William variants are on the no-go list.

And Seraphina! It was a later addition to Martha’s list, and one I’d written down for them before I’d known they were considering it! Woo! I love it, such a gorgeous name! For a middle name, Ruth has a similar sound to Roux and loses the cooking element (haha! 😂 ). I love Ruth in the Bible. There’s also Rue, like the awesome + tragic character in the Hunger Games and/or the Golden Girls’ Rue McClanahan (whichever they prefer!). (Rue was an actual given name for McClanahan—her given middle name, not a nickname for another name.)

I really like the rhythm of Martha’s husband’s middle name idea of Danae with Seraphina, and tried to think of others that a similar rhythm (two syllables with stress on the second) to appeal to him (and hopefully Martha might like them too):

  • Seraphina Mairead (Mairead is the Irish for Margaret, rhymes with parade)
  • Seraphina Therese
  • Seraphina Corinne
  • Seraphina Pilar (a sneaky Marian name!)
  • Seraphina Renee
  • Seraphina Celeste

And other unusual one-syllable names like Martha’s Roux might be:

  • Seraphina Wren
  • Seraphina Lark
  • Seraphina Vale
  • Seraphina Paige
  • Seraphina Tru(e)
  • Seraphina Viv
  • Seraphina Liv
  • Seraphina Greer

Regarding the idea of using a variant of Martha’s name, I was intrigued by connecting to it somehow. There really aren’t any variants of the name itself other than Marta, which is sweet and I do like it, but if they didn’t like that I thought of some others that might do the trick. Like Margaret, which has the same first three letters of her name. Maite has the same first two letters as Martha and  the same total number of letters—it’s got French and Spanish usage and is a contraction of Maria Teresa so it’s used both as a nickname and a given name (I’ve heard it said MY-tay).

Okay! So those are my comments on the names they’re considering, and I have new ideas for Martha and her hubs as well. As I mentioned, I used the Baby Name Wizard and relied heavily on its suggestions of names similar in style/feel/popularity to the names they’ve used and like, but I also added in some ideas of my own:

(1) Susanna(h)
I love that Susanna(h) is biblical, like the boys’ names; I love that if it’s spelled Susanna it loses a little of the biblical feel and fits in really well with the older girls’ names. Zuzu is a Susanna nickname I’ve been crushing on lately, and Anna, Annie, and Susie are all possibilities, as well as the full Susanna just on its own. St. Susanna’s also an early saint, and the American Catholic Church in Rome is St. Susanna’s.

(2) Faith or Hope or Mercy
Faith is a style match for Levi, and as soon as I saw it I loved it as an idea for this little girl. It does repeat the sound of Phoebe’s name but not the initial … I also know a little Faith Immaculata and I just die over her name, soooo gorgeous.

Hope’s a match for Leah, and I think it’s a really sweet name that, like Faith, can take a nice long middle name (lots of fun possibilities there!). And Mercy has been on my radar for months because of the Jubilee Year of Mercy—if they didn’t like Mercy as a first name, I love it as a middle for them.

(3) Nora
I love love love Nora—it’s a traditional nickname for both Honora and Eleanor, and there’s a Venerable Honora Nagle, and Eleanor has often been taken as a variant of Helen, but there are some quibbles about that, so it can also refer to Bl. Archangela Girlani whose birth name was Eleanor.

(4) Zoe
I recently discovered that St. Catherine of Laboure’s birth name was Zoe, and I’m really loving it! Especially since Martha and her hubs have been discussing names that begin with the end of the alphabet (Willow, Xena, Zelie), they might be interested in this Z name, which is also a style match for Phoebe.

(5) Inessa, Ines, Inez
At a certain point I just started going through the alphabet and trying to come up with names for the letters that haven’t used yet, and when I got to I, I thought of this family who has a daughter named Inessa, which is a form of Agnes. So pretty right?! Ines and Inez are more familiar variants — I’m interested to hear feedback on them because I can’t tell if they’re revival ready or still a bit too old?

(6) Genevieve
Genevieve is such a long gorgeous name, and has a similar feel to Seraphina, I love it and its nickname options Evie and Vivi and Neve, beautiful!

(7) Rosalie or Rosaleen
Rosalie is fast becoming one of my favorite names, and I love it as a sister to Kathryn, Bridget, and Phoebe. And I was thinking about Rosaleen the other night and how it has such a similar sound to Rosalie, but Irish-ed up. Very sweet name!

(8) Rowan
I suspect Rowan is too unisex for this family, but it’s another nature name (like Willow) with a Celtic feel and a [male] saint’s name (like Maewyn), and it begins with the as yet unused letter R.

(9) Verity
I’ve totally been digging Verity recently — I love that it means “truth,” and is definitely one of the more underused virtue-esque names. So pretty!

(10) Zara
Having Z for an initial is so cool, and Zara has a really sophisticated feel to me (like Brit royal Zara Phillips Tindall) — I can see it being awesome with sisters Kathryn, Bridget, and Phoebe. At first I wasn’t going to include it because I didn’t think there was a saint associated with it, but I loved the idea of it so much that I did some digging and discovered that it’s a diminutive of Zaharina, which is the Bulgarian feminine form of Zechariah. Wow! Zechariah makes me think of St. Elizabeth and the Joyful Mystery of the Visitation, which is all kinds of wonderful to me.

(11) Zephyrine
My last idea (eleven ideas for the eleventh baby! 😄 ) is a little out there, but there’s a Pope St. Zephyrinus, and Zephyrine is a French feminine variant of the name (I just read that a sister of French Kings Louis XVI and XVII and Charles X was Marie Zephyrine, so named because she was born on the feast of Pope St. Zephyrinus). It’s long and lovely and elegant and saintly, and — fun fact! — I had a great-great Aunt Zepherine (I think that was how she spelled her name) and she went by Zee. So. Cool. (My only hesitation for this family is — are the endings of Kathryn and Zephyrine too similar? )

And those are all my ideas for this sweet little Baby Eleven! What do you all think? What would you suggest?