Naming resources

Dibs on names? Sharing okay?

sanctanomina Naming resources

A reader mentioned to me the difficulty she and her husband have finding names for their children that haven’t already been given to one of their 20+ nieces and nephews, or are the names of their own siblings or siblings-in-law. Sharing already-used names isn’t something she cares to do — she wants her children to have his or her *own* name within the family.

Sound familiar?

I’ve read and heard other discussions about how to deal with this, and whether, as my reader asked me, it’s ever appropriate to give your child a name that’s already been used, and if so, how to do it without offending anyone. We had to deal with it ourselves: We wanted to give one of our boys a name that my brother could argue he had a prior claim to. The name was my grandfather’s name, but it’s also my brother’s middle name, and a distinctive one — so it would really feel like we were taking a name that was rightfully his. Though I’ve always appreciated the opinion that there are no dibs in baby naming, I do think sometimes there are. At least if you want to be a good sister/brother/aunt/uncle etc. So we asked my brother and sister-in-law (married but no children yet at the time) if it would be okay if we used the name, and we told them that if they preferred that we didn’t, we wouldn’t.

They were lovely about it, and assured us it was okay for us to use the name. Whew!

So that’s what I would recommend, if there was a particular name parents wanted to give to their child that was already used or potentially claimed by someone else: Just ask. But sometimes it’s not that easy, and I’ve liked the thoughtful ways in which the question was handled by some of the naming experts I admire:

Swistle: Naming Etiquette: Who Has Dibs on a Family Name?

Baby Name Wizard: page 8

Name Candy:

Particularly for big families, as Laura Wattenberg says, “In a really big family, something’s gotta give. Among your ten brothers and sisters and thirty nieces and nephews, you may have to accept an occasional duplicate name.” I would just heartily recommend that you go about the whole thing as respectfully as possible.

Have any of you had to deal with this? How did you handle it? What was the outcome?

Mash-up names

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I was reading last night a tiny bit about Bl. John Piamarta, who I’d never heard of before. I was immediately drawn to his last name, Piamarta, as I assumed that it was a mash-up of Pia (the feminine of Pius, Latin for “pious”) and Marta (a form of Martha). I don’t know if it is, but even if that’s not the origin of Bl. John’s last name, one could decide to make such a combo a first name for a girl, and what a pretty name it would be. (I’ve always loved the idea of Pia, but I think it take some thick skin for a child to have that name today, because of what else it sounds like. Adding it onto another name is a nice way to get around that though, I think.)

Bl. John Piamarta made me think of other mash-up names I’ve heard. The first that came to mind was Maristela, which I had not heard of until someone suggested it for Simcha. I of course was familiar with Stella, and Stella Maris, but what a lovely way to reconfigure the name with Maristela! (Or Maristella.)

I’ve also always loved the name Maite, which is a contraction of Maria Teresa. Gorgeous on its own, or as a nickname for Maria Teresa. Maricruz was a character on the TV show Prison Break.

I had a hard time finding a listing of more like that. A search for “contraction baby names,” which is how Maite was described (a contraction of Maria and Teresa) gave me info on labor contractions. Try again! A search for “mash-up names” resulted in an article about Bettylou and Maryjane-type names — but I didn’t mean two separate names connected with no change (which, yes, is what Piamarta is, but still). I tried “compound names” and came up with a really fun article about contracting a longer name down to a shorter, like Anastasia–>Asia, which is really fun for nicknames and a technique I myself have suggested, but it’s not two names contracted together.

It would be fun to make some up, like … John Paul–>Jopa. Okay, maybe not. Maristella and Maricruz sound so reverent to me, probably because the elements aren’t so hidden, so it’s easy to see what names they came from. So then maybe I’m being crazy, because we have so many beautiful names like that already.

What mash-up/combo names are you familiar with? What are your favorites?

Baby name consultant: baby #8, a boy

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Sarah and David are expecting their eighth baby, a little boy. Sarah describes them as “your typical Catholic family and like traditional (preferably French or Irish) names.” They have seven children already, named:

Zoe Olivia

Brady Patrick

Michael Joseph

Katherine Mary-Claire

Margaret Rose

George Thomas

Matthew David

They have some names they’re considering, but they don’t want to share them as they really want a fresh perspective. In trying to come up with suggestions, I was struck by what seems to be a difference in style between Zoe’s and Brady’s first names and the names of the rest of the kids. So I relied heavily on the style of Zoe and Brady when musing on names for #8, while also keeping in mind that their younger children have very traditional names.

I used both Nymbler and Name MatchMaker for ideas, and I usually shoot for three suggestions, as I’ve done for others. So my ideas for this little baby are:

(1) Henry

It was the first name that came to my mind, even before checking out the name matching sites, and it was one of the first names they suggested. Brady, Michael, George, Matthew, and Henry sound like a great set of brothers, and I love it with the girls’ names as well.

(2) Myles

As soon as I saw Myles I thought it was a great fit. I think it’s a little more offbeat than Michael, George, and Matthew, which makes me think it’s a great bridge between their names and Brady’s. It does make for a lot of M’s, but with so many kids I don’t think that matters much, and besides — one of my favorite things about Myles is that it can be considered a Marian name! One of my name books, Oxford Dictionary of First Names, says that Maolra is a “[m]odern spelling, common particularly in the west of Ireland, of earlier Maoil-Mhuire ‘devotee of Mary.’ It has been anglicized as Myles.” It’s Irish, it’s Marian, it seems more stylistically consistent with Brady than your other boys’ names, I love this idea! (Do note though that the spelling of Miles is unrelated.)

(3) William

I love William for you. Its traditional-ness is a great style match for your younger boys, and its current popularity, as well as both nicknames Will and Liam (though I know Liam can stand on its own), seem well suited as Brady’s brother. I wouldn’t mind if you chose just Liam as the first name, but William seems just that much more a better match in my opinion.

Oliver was a heavy contender for me until I remembered that Zoe’s middle name is Olivia, and Charles and Jude also struck me as possibles, but in the end I settled on Henry, Myles, and William. If I had to choose a middle name, not knowing anything about how you choose them (family names?), I’d guess Francis.

What do you all think? What names would you suggest for Sarah and David’s baby boy?

Baby name consultant: Baby SHAN-ick, if a girl

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The SHAN-ick Family has a little boy, Dominic Paul, and is expecting baby #2, due February 19. They’ve decided on a boy’s name — similar feel and style to Dominic Paul, with your basic Catholic first and middle names, nothing crazy (like Athanasius) — but girl’s names are giving them a hard time. Mom says:

“While I’d like at least part of the name to have a saint/Catholic meaning, I’m not obsessed with having both be saints names … my husband would really like a Marian name if it’s a girl. He was into simply “Mary” but I couldn’t get into that … We are sort of toying with a form of Rose: maybe Rosemary … We both love St. Therese of Lisieux but I think the French pronunciation will be too complicated. It stands out as a favorite for middle name. We don’t like Theresa … Lindsey was also a finalist for no particular reason … I have a problem with super popular names: Lucy is nice but I know four. My husband likes Gianna (because of the pro-life connection and because he’s a doctor) but we know SO many Giannas. Maybe I just need to let that go. Gianna may end up a middle name.”

(I like to generally shoot for three suggestions, if I can [as I did for Simcha], and I was able to do so here.)

Okay, as I understand it, it seems that for first names the three contenders/ideas you mentioned are (1) a non-Rose Marian name, (2) a Rose name, and (3) Lindsey. Middle name options are Therese and Gianna. Do I have that right?

I went to both Nymbler and Name MatchMaker and entered Dominic, John, Rosemary, and Lindsey as inspirations, and between their results and the general feel I got from your email I have the following thoughts as a sister to Dominic Paul:

(1) Marisa/Marissa or Molly
There are so many gorgeous Marian options, I wasn’t able to pick just one, but these two particular ones seemed to jump out. Behind the Name says Marissa is a variant of Marisa, and Marisa is an Italian/Spanish/Portuguese combination of Maria and Luisa; Namipedia says it’s a modern elaboration of Maria. Its peak of popularity was the 1990s, which is the feel I get from Lindsey (it peaked in the 80’s, but I think Marisa/Marissa and Lindsey share a general “throwback” kind of feel). A friend of mine recently named her daughter Marissa, for Our Lady, which I found a pleasant surprise. I quite like Marisa/Marissa Therese or even Marisa/Marissa Rose.

Molly too seemed like it might suit. I’m related to two — one born in 1979 and the other in 1984 — which is why I think it has that same “throwback” feel to me as Lindsey and Marisa/Marissa — but Name Voyager shows it’s been pretty popular from the 1980’s on, enjoying two pretty comparable peaks in the 1990s and 2010 (by “peak” I mean #84 in 2010 and #94 in the 90’s, so never super popular). It’s a diminutive of Mary, which makes it Marian, and it has definitely become its own name, but it could also work as a nickname for Mary (I know a Mary who goes by Molly). Molly Therese, Molly Gianna, Molly Rose, Molly Rosemary (or replace Molly with Mary on the birth certificate and still call her Molly) all strike me as lovely.

(2) Felicity

You don’t want a “popular” name like Lucy and Gianna, and the kinds of families that have Lucy’s and Gianna’s are the kind that like Felicity as well, so maybe it’s too popular in your circles, but I just love it. It totally fits with Dominic in my opinion, and goes great with your middle name options.

(3) Sydney or Sidony/Sidonie
I found Lindsey to be quite the wild card — not a saint’s name, and with a different feel to me than the other names you mentioned. But it made me think of Sydney right away, which I’d always understood was derived from “St. Denis.” I set out to verify that, and my most trustworthy name-meaning site, Behind the Name, only said it was derived from Sidney, which was an English surname. I checked it out in a couple of my name books, and found the most delightful little nugget:

“[As a male name] The name appears regularly in Latin as de Sancto Dionisio, etc., and there can be little doubt that it is a reduction of St. Denis … [As a female name] this is not uncommon as a woman’s name in Ireland, and is probably a survival of Sidony”

So then I looked up Sidony and it said,

“this name was formerly used by Roman Catholics for girls born about the date of the Feast of the Winding Sheet (i.e., of Christ), more formally alluded to as ‘the Sacred Sendon’. Sendon or Sindon (from Latinsindon … ‘fine cloth’, ‘linen’) was used in Middle English for a fine cloth, especially one used as a shroud. The SacredSendon is supposed to be preserved at Turn … Sidonie is not uncommon in France, and the Irish Sidney is probably reallySidony.” (pp. 268-269, The Oxford Dictionary of English Christian Names by E.G. Withycombe, 1977).

Now, come on. How cool! I’d never really heard of Sidony; I’d certainly never heard of its relationship to Sydney; and a name that refers to the Shroud of Turin?? But wait! That’s not the end! I looked up the Feast of the Winding Sheet and the Wikipedia entry said that it’s celebrated on the day before Ash Wednesday … which is just two days before this baby is due!

So Sydney/Sidony has jumped onto my favorites list. I think either one goes really well with your middle name options, and though you said you don’t need both names to be saintly, I’m just loving this previously unknown (to me) super Catholic connection.

A P.S. about your Rose names: I really like Rosemary — it’s sweet and vintage-y, certainly Marian, and with cute nickname options (Rosie, Romy). I had a friend long ago named Rosemarie, which I like too. I also like just plain Rose, and Rosa, and Rosalie. Rosemary Therese and Rosemary Gianna both have a nice flow; I actually think Therese and Gianna go well with Rosa and Rosalie as well. I’d love to know what other Rose names you might be considering!

What about you readers? Do you think my suggestions are spot-on are totally crazy? Do any of you have any girl name suggestions for this little baby?