Month: March 2016

Three things to pray for

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You guys, our dear Dwija’s in the hospital as her water broke yesterday at 32 weeks. Please pray for her and her wee little girl! And the rest of the family!

Secondly, I know you’ve all heard about the sweet, brave Missionaries of Charity who were handcuffed and shot in Yemen. Stories and pictures about them were being tagged yesterday on FB and Twitter and IG with #TheseSistersHaveNames, which is so appropriate — we know the power of names and their humanizing effect. Knowing their names helps us never forget them. Sr. Anselm, Sr. Reginette, Sr. Marguerite/Margherite (I’ve seen both), and Sr. Judith (a new and wonderful patron for any Judiths!), please pray for us and for the whole world. ❤

This is the prayer the Missionaries of Charity pray “after their morning Mass and before breakfast, the prayer is one of the last that the sisters would have prayed before being killed”:

“Lord, teach me to be generous. Teach me to serve you as you deserve; to give and not to count the cost, to fight and not to heed the wounds, to toil and not to seek for rest, to labor and not to ask for reward.”

A friend sent this prayer to me yesterday as appropriate for my third intention: though it certainly pales in comparison to the kinds of suffering the Missionaries of Charity see and tend to, and to actual martyrdom for one’s faith, there’s a stomach bug that won’t leave my house, and I know a lot of you are dealing with it too (I hope you’re all feeling better Jen!). My #4, who I thought was on the upswing after spending the entire day throwing up two days ago did so again last night. It’s everywhere. My task for this morning is to clean it up (I was too tired last night). Please pray for my little boys (four out of the six have now had it … I’m waiting for the other two, and please God not myself [my husband doesn’t get stomach bugs, such a weirdo]) and for me and for all the parents and little ones dealing with the the stomach bug right now. I seriously think someone needs to start an Order of Sisters whose mission is to care for families with the stomach bug. Great personal risk? Check. Ostracization? Check. Suffering and sickness? Check, check, checkity check. If anyone has any daughters who want to start a new Order when they grow up, maybe whisper this idea in their ears. (I truly hope this doesn’t come across as insensitive in the face of the lost Sisters of Yemen. It’s because of their wonderful work and love and care that I immediately thought of Sisters when I was in the throes of cleaning and disinfecting our house over the last few days — they do such wonderful, important work, in big ways and small. Thank God for Sisters.)

Baby name consultant: Baby Borobia Take 2!

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What feels like waaaay back, in November, before Thanksgiving even, I posted a name consultation for Dwija’s eighth baby with some fun ideas for both boys and girls.

Since then, she and her husband have found out their wee one is a little lady baby! And when I saw on her IG post announcing the news in January that they were still in the *THROES* of trying to agree on a girl’s name, despite the previous solid frontrunner of Helen, I asked if I could take another shot, and, gracious as always, she said have at it!, so I’ve come up with five more ideas for Baby Borobia #8.

First though, about Helen, Dwija says,

“I guess there is no really good reason that Helen isn’t the front runner for some people ( 😉 ) anymore except that I guess none of the convos we had before the ultrasound “counted.” Lol! Which is why we always find out gender- we have a terrible time agreeing on names, clearly. Tommy says he feels like Helen is a fine name but that it doesn “go” with what we have so far and it’s just not his favorite. We love the name Margaret, but we have a niece named Margaret already and another one named Maggie, so basically we would be the third of his siblings to use the name or a variation and that might be a little much, you know? We also like Carolyn after my MIL, but that breaks the no repeat first initial rule (as does Margaret!) and it is very similar in spelling and sound to Kathryn so it might be a little awkward. Genevieve is an option that has not been struck down (that is about as good as it gets at this stage!) and the kids who really wanted Gabriel for a boy are campaigning for Gabrielle or Gabriella for a girl now, but then if we have another boy in the future, we won’t be able to use it! You see the puzzling puzzle-ness? Whew! Hope all that is a teeny bit helpful maybe? Thanks so much for letting me play along again”

So my thoughts, worth only a couple of pennies as always, are:

Helen is great, still. I won’t be at all surprised if it’s the name they end up with. I know from the last consultation that Dwija and the big girls were swoony over the nickname Nellie, which seriously is so sweet. As for it not going with what they’ve done so far, it kind of cracked me up when I looked up their beloved Margaret in my trusty Baby Name Wizard book and saw its girl style matches are Catherine, Helen, Mary, Eleanor, Cecilia, and Martha. Boy matches included Charles and Paul. If you remember, they already have a Kathryn, Mary, Elizabeth (similar to Eleanor with the El-), Cecilia, [John] Charles, and Paul. So yeah, Helen fits.

On to Margaret: I can see why they feel weird about using Margaret after two of their nieces have been so named. And that darn repeated initial! But the fact that Dwija and her hubs are still talking about it tells me they reeeaalllyy love it. And clearly, as noted in the previous paragraph, it’s an insanely good fit style-wise. One solution (which doesn’t fix the repeating-initial thing, but might help with the cousins-named-a-form-of-Margaret thing) is to name her Margaret but use a different nickname than Maggie—that way when all three cousins are together, none are called the same thing. My particular favorite recently, and one which gets away from the M initial, is Daisy. I also love Daisy with Katie, Lizzie, Ceci, and Mary—I think it totally fits! Other variants and diminutives that can be used as a nickname include Greta, Rita, and Maisie (though there’s that darn M again). I also have another idea for incorporating Margaret, which I’ll discuss more below.

Regarding Carolyn, it’s a lovely name and a lovely tribute to T’s mom. It’s very similar in sound and appearance to Kathryn, but since she goes by Katie I don’t think it has to be a huge deal. The spelling could be changed to Caroline to help with spelling/appearance, but then that might move it far enough away from Carolyn that it loses its appeal. Another important consideration is that Carolyn is one of the feminine forms of Charles, which the Borobias have already used in their little John Charles (who goes by Charlie). Ma and Pa Ingalls didn’t mind being Charles and Caroline when they got married (and babies Charles and Carrie too!), but it is the kind of thing namiacs would notice (if one should be worried about such things).

Genevieve is beautiful and another favorite of mine. I have no complaints! One could argue that it’s even less like what they’ve done so far with their other kids than Helen, but it’s saintly and classic, which is their basic style. (I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again—one of the very best things about Catholic naming is that there are so many names of all ethnic backgrounds and degrees of unusualness and yet they all “go together” because of the Church—just put your Catholic glasses on and you’ll see! 😀 )

Gabrielle/Gabriella now at the expense of a possible Gabriel later is a real dilemma! I addressed it in this post, and I really liked the way one of the commenters put it: “Which one would you be sadder not to use?” My sense is that Dwija and Tommy really like Gabriel, and would be pretty bummed if they had a boy in the future and couldn’t use it because they’d already used a female variant. I also don’t get the feeling they love Gabrielle/Gabriella nearly as much as Gabriel. I could totally be wrong! It’s a good conversation for them to have. (This post on name regret might also be helpful.)

Okay! So I came up with a few new ideas. First though, let me remind you of the Borobia Baby Naming Rules:

“T [hubs] does NOT like William because of William of Orange (true story. This is what I mean about all our weird rules!)

More rules include:
Must be a saint name but not a quirky one (no Scholastica or Cosmas, etc.)
Must exist somewhere in one of our families (you won’t be able to know this, but that’s okay)
Cannot start with a letter we’ve already used.
Cannot start with a B
Initials can’t make a potentially embarrassing word (MIB made it through because I don’t think her friends are going to know anything about Men in Black. Are you starting to see how crazy I am???)”

And their other kiddos’ names:

Kathryn Marisol (Katie)
Elizabeth Anne (Lizzie)
Paul Anthony
Cecilia Jean (Ceci)
Mary Isabel
Nicholas Robert (home with Jesus)
John Charles (Charlie)

And the names I suggested in my last post:

(1) Ruth, Rita, Rose/Rosa
(2) Hildi
(3) Alice
(4) Frances

I think I was a little too focused on Helen-type names in my previous suggestions, so I branched out a bit, looking for suggestions that might not be as perfect on paper but just *seem* like good ideas, and came up with:

(1) Sarah-Margaret (or others?)
I really hate when there’s a name both parents love but for whatever reason they don’t feel like they can use it—we all know how hard it can be to come to an agreement on a name! And to have other interfering factors can be so frustrating. So I love to try to come up with ideas of how that name can still work somehow. Sarah was listed in the Baby Name Wizard as a style match for Kathryn, Elizabeth, Nicholas, and John, and when I saw it—given that Margaret was heavily on my mind—I immediately remembered that actress Andie MacDowell has a daughter named Sarah Margaret who actually goes by Margaret. I love the full Sarah-Margaret (I’d probably hyphenate if it was me, but certainly not necessary), and the traditional Sarah nickname of Sadie, but Sarah Margaret called Margaret (or Maggie or other Margaret nick) takes it all one step away from the nieces Margaret and Maggie, even if only “technically.” You know?

But if they didn’t like the idea of Sarah Margaret, but did like the idea of a double first name, I also love Sarah Clare, Sarah Louise, and Sarah T(h)eresa/Sarah Tess (I know the two latter aren’t necessary to avoid repeating initials, since they haven’t use L or T yet, but how sweet are Sarah Lou and Sarah Tess?!). (Sarah’s a great name for double-naming—Harry Connick Jr. has a Sarah Kate, which I’d totally suggest if they didn’t already have Kathryn.)

(2) Lucy or Louisa (nicked Lulu)
Speaking of not having used L yet, what about Lucy? It totally fits in with sisters Katie, Lizzy, Ceci, and Mary in my opinion, and how amazing does Lucy Carolyn sound together??

Lucy, and the idea above of Sarah Louise, also made me think of Louisa. It’s so lovely and Little Women on its own, and I’ve long thought Lucy would made such a natural nickname for it, so Louisa nicked Lucy allows for two great names in one! Or Louisa nicked Lulu? I love Lulu, and it seems a lot like Helen/Nell(ie) to me.

(3) Felicity
So I wrote down all the letters of the alphabet that were still okay to use, and tried to think of names for each one (without thinking so much of the other kiddos’ names) and F was all Felicity to me—and that was before I realized today’s her feast day! Felicity’s such a pretty name and has some shared sounds with Marisol, Elizabeth, Cecilia, and Isabel, so I think there’s a pretty good chance Dwija and her hubs will like it. There are some fun nickname options like Filly and Flick(a), which a horse-loving girl might love (My Friend Flicka!), and someone on the blog suggested Lily a while ago, which I thought was brilliant (but I can’t find that comment! Gah!). A search online yields Fi/Fee, Felly, Lucky, Tilly, and Floss(y)—Floss and Flossy are so delightfully old fashioned! (I’d probably just stay away from Flissy, Lissy, Liddy, and Cici because of their similarities to Lizzie and Ceci.) AND – so weird! – in my search I found a mom who had a daughter Felicity and her final two choices for her second daughter were Helen and Harriett!

(4) Victoria or Veronica
I actually had scribbled down Veronica when I was doing my alphabet exercise—Veronica all of a sudden seemed like a name they would like! I think of it as sort of similar to Genevieve, because of the strong V and the common nickname options Vee or Vivi. I love how Catholicky Catholic it is too.

But then Victoria showed itself to be a style match for Elizabeth, Nicholas, and Genevieve, so I thought that was intriguing! It could also take the nicknames Vee or Vivi along with the more familiar Vicky and Tori, and I hope Charlotte doesn’t mind if I point out her amazing idea of Cora as a nickname for Victoria! I love the idea of Victoria for Our Lady of Victory, and Cora for the Immaculate Heart of Mary—what a lovely Marian option!

(5) Agnes nicked Aggie
Finally, one more Helen-type name. Agnes has been on my radar a bit recently—I loved when actress Elisabeth Shue named her daughter Agnes Charles several years ago, what a cool way to mix up an otherwise pretty old-fashioned name! And the nickname Aggie is so amazing, and so like Maggie, that I thought it might be a good substitute for Margaret.

And those are my new ideas for Baby Girl Borobia! What do you all think? What else can you suggest that hasn’t already been suggested and that follows all the rules?

Birth announcement: Mathilda!

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I posted a consultation for Sabrina from Austria at the beginning of February, and she’s let me know her baby has arrived — the beautifully named Mathilda!

Sabrina writes,

“Just wanted to let you know that our little girl was born this morning – we ended up naming her Mathilda. However we only decided upon that name two days ago, before that it was Alma, another beautiful name I found on my researches. As you see, the name ride was a wild one, right when she had arrived I could not remember the name at all 😀 Thanks for your help“

I love hearing the process parents go through to finally decide on a name! And Mathilda is just wonderful, I love it. Interestingly, Sabrina gave this update:

“So our plan [was] to have Mathilda baptized on the day of St. Mathilde on March 14th, but it turned out both our Priests are unavailable at that day. 😦 Now we’ll aim at a Marian feast day and give her the second name Maria“

Sabrina probably thought I was so dense as I wondered if I should then announce her name as Mathilda Maria — I hope she corrects me if I’m wrong, but from our conversation I gather that her given name is Mathilda, and her baptismal name, which is not a legal part of her name, may be Maria if she’s able to be baptized on a Marian feast day. Whew! I love learning about naming practices in different parts of the world!

Congratulations to Sabrina and her husband and big siblings Parsifal and Aurelia, and happy birthday Baby Mathilda!!

mathilda

Mathilda

Spotlight on: Jael

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A reader requested a spotlight on Jael, which is a name I’m almost completely unfamiliar with. My only two associations with it are a girl I used to work with named the variant Yael (though I didn’t know her well enough to ask about her name), and the Judith spotlight I did a while ago, on which Grace left the following comment:

“Only three women in scripture have the privilege of being called “blessed among women” and it’s not who we’d expect! They are Jael, Judith, and Mary. Jael and Judith both won victories for Israel by killing the enemy leader. This is an important connection to Mary, because it shows us that when she is addressed as “blessed among women” it has a specific meaning, not just “oh, how nice, you’re blessed.” It means that Mary is the VANQUISHER of the enemy! We think of Mary as meek, which of course she is, but she is also INCREDIBLY powerful, she is the enemy’s greatest fear.”

Pretty darn awesome, right?? This is the passage from Judges where Jael is called “blessed among women,” part of the “Song of Deborah”:

“Most blessed of women is Jael,
the wife of Heber the Kenite,
blessed among tent-dwelling women!
He asked for water, she gave him milk,
in a princely bowl she brought him curds.
With her hand she reached for the peg,
with her right hand, the workman’s hammer.
She hammered Sisera, crushed his head;
she smashed, pierced his temple.
At her feet he sank down, fell, lay still;
down at her feet he sank and fell;
where he sank down, there he fell, slain.
From the window she looked down,
the mother of Sisera peered through the lattice:
“Why is his chariot so long in coming?
why are the hoofbeats of his chariots delayed?”
The wisest of her princesses answers her;
she even replies to herself,
“They must be dividing the spoil they took:
a slave woman or two for each man,
Spoil of dyed cloth for Sisera,
spoil of ornate dyed cloth,
a pair of ornate dyed cloths for my neck in the spoil.”
So perish all your enemies, O LORD!
But may those who love you be like the sun rising in its might!
And the land was at rest for forty years.” (Judges 5:24-31)

Matt Fradd did a short post pointing out the similiarities between Jael, Judith, and Mary as well, saying they “Each crushed the head of the enemy king,” and Fr. Z. pointed out a mention of Jael our Holy Father Emeritus Benedict XVI made during his papacy (and he added artwork of the murders by Jael and Judith, they were some tough women).

So all this connection between Jael and Mary and mentions by BXVI and yet I’ve only known one person in real life with the name (and a variant at that), and she was, I believe, Jewish. Why is that?

I’m guessing her gruesome story is a turn-off to parents who even know about the name, and I think it probably also comes across as a very Jewish name, similarly to how some feel about Judith. And also that it rhymes with jail. This seems kind of a big consideration to me. So maybe the variant Yael is more appeaing? Abby at Appellation Mountain spotlighted it just last month and noted that not only are there potential pronunciation issues — it actually doesn’t rhyme with Yale, sounding rather more like yah-ELL — but also that it’s currently used more for boys than for girls, and that the variant spelling Yaelle has arisen (which reminds me of the lovely Maelle). I would imagine that usage by boys would be very appealing to some parents of daughters, especially when you add in the fact that it’s a legit feminine name with a long and traditional usage. Back to Jael, usage for girls still edges out usage by boys, but only by a few.

I’ve also seen the name spelled Ja’el and Jahel, and then I just happened to notice Jaelyn somewhere today and thought huh, that could be a cool way to do Jael — more obviously feminine and a less felonious pronunciation. 😉

What do you all think of Jael, or its variants? Would you consider using one of them for your daughter, or have you? Do you know anyone with one of these names? Does she go by a nickname?

Okay to name a baby after a Servant of God?

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I received an email from a worried mama about wanting to use the name Léonie, after St. Therese’s sister Servant of God Léonie Martin, but she’d heard that we’re not supposed to name a baby after a Servant of God because it’s celebrating someone who isn’t yet a saint or blessed.

After prayer and study, I’d say that it’s totally fine to name after a Servant of God. The Church has no requirements regarding naming any more, other than that the names chosen must not be “foreign to Christian sentiment” (Canon 855). She still has a preference for names being given after Saints (no. 2156), but since there’s no requirement of that, it follows that there’s no rule against naming for a Servant of God. Indeed, there’s no rule against naming after anyone (except some of those discussed on the blog last week, like Lucifer, for example, because the name is “foreign to Christian sentiment”). I think of all the babies named after family members and friends and celebrities and athletes — as long as their names aren’t foreign to Christian sensibility, there’s no issue at all. Especially since many (most?) names can trace back to a Saint anyway! For this particular example, it might be helpful to know that there’s a Bl. Marie Leonie Paradis who predated Leonie Martin by just a little bit, and any of the Sts. Leo can serve as patron as well, so the name Leonie itself is no problem whatsoever. I suppose it’s always wise to remember that because a Servant of God hasn’t yet been fully researched, there might still be unsavory elements that show themselves that would prevent him or her from moving on in the canonization process — that could be hard for a little namesake, and a back-up saint (like Bl. Marie Leonie Paradis) might be good idea from that perspective as well.

Bottom line, in answer to this question: As far as I can tell, there’s no problem naming a child after a Servant of God.

In doing research though, it became clear that it’s probably important to discuss what’s okay in terms of venerating a Servant of God, and whether naming a baby after a SOG counts as veneration and if so, is it still okay.

First, according to the Catholic Dictionary the definition of veneration when used in regards to the saints is:

“Honor paid to the saints who, by their intercession and example and in their possession of God, minister to human sanctification, helping the faithful grow in Christian virtue.”

There’s a difference between public and private veneration. For example, the web site for the cause for the canonization of Ven. Fr. Michael McGivney explains,

“Several members of the Father McGivney Guild have asked about the possibility of developing a Father McGivney holy hour that could be celebrated before the exposed Blessed Sacrament.

The norms of the Church in this matter are very clear. Eucharistic holy hours are to be encouraged but, when praying before the Blessed Sacrament exposed in the monstrance, all prayers should be directed to Christ, who is present in the sacred host. The Church does not permit us to pray to Father McGivney in our public worship.

You will note that all the prayer cards you receive from the Guild are directed to God, not to Father McGivney. We are humbly asking God to hear our petition for the canonization of Father McGivney. Only at a later stage, with the permission of the Church, can we publicly address Father McGivney in prayer.”

The Mother Teresa of Calcutta Center points out that,

“Beatified persons are called Blesseds. They may receive the veneration of the faithful within certain limits set by the Church, but may not be venerated in an organized public manner throughout the whole Church.“

EWTN points out in its explanation of the canonization process that,

“Blesseds may receive public veneration at the local or regional level, usually restricted to those dioceses or religious institutes closely associated with the person’s life. “Public veneration” in this use of the term doesn’t mean that it is done in public; rather,that it is an act done by the clergy, or delegated laity, in the name of the Church (Mass, Divine Office, images in churches etc.), even if done in private. On the other hand, “private veneration” means veneration by individuals or groups acting in their own name, even if done “in public.” While the Church restricts the public venration [sic] of Blesseds, Catholics are free to privately venerate them.”

And while this private v. public veneration has so far focused just on Blesseds and beyond, I did find this, from “Servants of God” by Wilhelm Schamoni in The Irish Monthly, September 1947; published by the Irish Jesuit Province and available here:

“The individual Christian is quite at liberty to venerate as saints those Christians of whose holiness he is convinced. On the other hand, the Church permits official veneration, that is veneration in public worship, only after ecclesiastical inquiry.”

Based on all that, I feel confident in thinking private veneration of a Servant of God is okay. Is naming a baby after a SOG a form of veneration? I think it could probably go either way. If veneration is honor, than any kind of honor naming could be considered veneration — I think non-Catholics would probably heartily disagree with that, since (1) they freely name after people in the Bible and (2) I think most of them are horrified by the word “venerate” used for anyone but God. Based just on that, perhaps naming isn’t a form of veneration? On the other hand, based on what Wilhelm Schamoni says in the last quote I provide above, veneration could extend to one’s grandmother or parish priest if of their “holiness he is convinced,” so maybe honor naming *is* a form of private veneration, which seems acceptable.

Do you all agree? Are any of you familiar with other resources that discuss veneration/naming in honor of Servants of God? Are there any Servants of God you feel particularly close to? (I love Elisabeth Leseur.) Would you name a baby after any of them, or have you?

 

 

Eleanor: Take 37

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I feel like I’ve posted about Eleanor more than enough: first that it’s not related Helen, despite everyone’s hopes that it is; then, that it might be related to Helen after all; then, Sara (DMNES expert) said it’s actually unlikely to be related to Helen … this name! It’s being kind of a pain!

Lisa emailed me today with a pretty great piece of info though:

“… a couple of weeks ago I was reading about Bl. Archangela Girlani (had never heard of her except from the book I’m reading- The Incorruptibles) whose birth name was Eleanor (I also saw it spelled Elanor) … I was thinking maybe that could be a saint association if people are looking for one — sort of like how St. Teresa Benedicta and Edith Stein are both used/ kind of interchangeable or JPII and Karol? She’s not a modern saint but in the book I’m reading it was mentioned that they exhumed her remains again in the 1960s and her body was still incorrupt — definitely a stretch but it’s a little bit of a modern connection.”

Yes yes yes! I love it! I would absolutely agree that Eleanor can have Bl. Archangela as a patron! (Side note: Archangela! Love it!)

I feel like there are some that would still really love the Eleanor-Helen connection, and I’m still feeling like it’s possible (not in a “yes, they’re etymologically related” way, but more a “it’s not uncommon to find Eleanor used in honor of a Helen” kind of way), but for those who just love Eleanor and want a saintly connection and might have previously looked to Helen because it seemed the obvious choice, Bl. Archangela might be really perfect!

Thanks to Lisa for this great tidbit! (Also? I LOVE The Incorruptibles! I used to pore over it in utter fascination when I was growing up. Catholics have the coolest stuff.)