One of you lovely readers sent me the link to this article about John Clark of Seton Magazine, because he lists the full names of his nine children:

Athanasius Chrysostom
Veronica Marie
Demetrius Innocent
Tarcisius Bellarmine
Philomena Guadalupe
Dominica Rose
Bonaventure Duns Scotus
Immaculata Faustyna
Mary Katherine

After I stopped absolutely dead-faint swooning over those names (!!!), I was excited to read this bit:

“I am open to suggestions for the next child, if by the generosity of God there is a tenth. Maybe Lisa and I should initiate a naming contest—submit ideas for the name and the winner gets a free dinner for four at Jack in the Box. If you are inclined to do so, be sure that the name is: 1) at least four syllables, 2) the name of a doctor of the Church, and/or 3) someone who directly conversed with Jesus.”

And I know he was being cheeky but I also had to see how recent the article was, just in case, but alas it’s from 2010 and I did a tiny bit of research and he’s still listed as a dad of nine so I don’t think there were any more babies. But I couldn’t let such a fun opportunity go by! I gave it some thought and came up with these ideas:

Girl

(1) Archangela

Reader Lisa let me know about Bl. Archangela Girlani not that long ago and I’ve been loving her name ever since. It’s four syllables and while her profile doesn’t say she conversed with Jesus she did have the gifts of ecstasy, levitation, and miracles. So there’s that.

(2) Apollonia

Five syllables! Also not a Doctor or conversed with Jesus, but “After her teeth were broken with pincers, she was given the choice of renouncing Christ or being burned alive; she lept onto the fire herself.” A nice twofer here too for any Godfather fans. 😉

(3) Christiana

I just looove the name Christiana. And why name after a saint who conversed with Jesus when you can name after Jesus Himself?!

(4) Maristella

I think we all got swoony over this name when this mama used it for her lovely little lady! A beautiful name to honor Our Lady, who did indeed converse with Jesus.

Boy

(1) Theophilus

The book of Luke and the book of Acts are addressed to Theophilus, meaning “friend of God.” A nice little twist on Theodore!

(2) Nicodemus

Nicodemus is another of my favorite fantasy names! I’ll never be able to convince my husband of it, but it sounds like John Clark could be convinced! Nicodemus in the bible helped Joseph of Arimathea prepare the body of Jesus for burial. ❤ (Also … Arimathea? Hmmm….)

(3) Stanislaus

I posted a little recently about St. John Paul’s devotion to St. Stanislaus of Cracow. Every time I see his name I think of JP2 and the fall of Communism. Awesome awesome associations. Stanislaus is a rule-breaker at only three syllables, but it’s so long — it just looks like a four-syllable name, doesn’t it?

(4) Maolmhuire

I’ve suggested Miles a million times because it’s used as an anglicization of Maolmhuire, an old Irish name meaning, “servant of the Blessed Virgin Mary.” But I’m thinking that for the Clark family, Maolmhuire might be the preferred version! I *think* it’s said male-MWEE-rah, which is only three syllables, but I could be wrong, both about the pronunciation and the number of syllables. Maelmarius is given as the Latin variant — maybe that’s a better bet?

And those are my ideas for imaginary Clark Baby No. 10! What about y’all? Can you think of names that would follow John Clark’s “rules”?