Naming for difficult family members?

sanctanomina Naming nitty gritty ,

A reader asked me this question,

“What do you think about family names that the person/persons have had a rough life/difficult personality? I really want to use family names but there are a few names in our family tree that almost seem… how do I say it… to have issues attached to it? On one hand this is our family and heritage and the names are of wonderful saints and are great names, on the other hand, the name evokes at least for me, negative or stressful feelings, even though I may love the person… What are your thoughts?“

I thought this was such a sweet and sincere question — a good example of trying to make the best of what (and who) we’re given. Family dynamics can be ah-MAZing! And also the worst ever!

On the one hand, I think doing something like using the name of a particular family member can go far in repairing relationships and even mindsets towards those people, if that makes sense. And hearing the name of a beloved baby over and over again in a loving and safe environment might really help soften hearts toward the original name-bearer, which I think is a good thing (reconciliation and peace of any kind, even small, is a step in the right direction, right?). Almost like an act of charity? On the other hand though, if you think giving the name of a difficult person to your child would have a negative impact on your relationship with your child, or other family members’ relationships with your child, and the child’s view of his/her worth and standing in the family, then I do think that’s a serious consideration.

It’s definitely something that needs to be prayerfully considered on a case-by-case basis. I do love the idea though that, as in the reader’s case above where she actively wants to honor her family and heritage and it sounds like she loves some of the names belonging to people who give her “negative or stressful feelings,” that giving one’s child the name of a difficult relative is sort of an easy thing to do — an easy act of love or reconciliation. Even if you can’t bear to be around the family member too frequently or for too long, your child’s name bears witness to the decision to love.

What do you all think? I’m sure there are some doozy stories among you about this topic — just remember it’s a public blog and nothing published here is private!

Baby name consultant: French-ish for girls, classic for boys, no ending in long E

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Lauren and her husband are expecting their fourth baby, a little green bean (=gender unknown)! Their older kiddos are:

Michael Douglas (“my husband is Michael and my father is Douglas“)
Annabelle Grace (“after my great grandmother“)
John Walter (“goes by Jack, my grandfather’s name is Walter“)

I loooove these names!! The boys are so strong and handsome, and Annabelle is a huge favorite of mine!

Lauren writes,

“So I guess our trend has been strong(ish) family Catholic names? Jack is a bit of an outlier in terms of the length of his name because we still call Michael and Annabelle by their full names.

In terms of restrictions … names that end in a long E are pretty much out [because of having a last name that ends in the same sound]. For example, Betty or the like 🙂 I’m still a little torn on nicknames that end in that sound, because once in awhile a family member will call Michael Mikey or Annabelle Annie and they don’t say them with their last name, and it’s fine.  Otherwise we are pretty open!“

Names they’ve considered for a girl include:

Mary Christine (“I’d like to use Christine, my mother’s name as a middle name — and I think I would consistently call her Mary Christine and not shorten it“)
Bernadette Christine

And for a boy:

Peter Charles (“Peter is my great-grandfather’s name“)
Benedict Something (“my husband likes Benedict but I’m not sure it fits with our current names“)
Francis (“I like — but would most likely call him Frankie, and there is the long E again. And my husband is not a huge fan“)

Additionally:

“Other family names for consideration include: George, William, Joseph, Fredrick, Agnes, Rose, Katherine, Patricia, Evelyn

As far as heritage, we are mainly German and Polish but my husband’s grandfather is from Syria“

I actually found this to be really challenging consultation because Lauren and her hubs have such great ideas already! You all know that I almost always start a consultation by looking up the names the parents have used and those they like/are considering in the Baby Name Wizard as it lists, for each entry, boy and girl names that are similar in terms of style/feel/popularity, so when I looked up the names Lauren and her hubs like I focused only on Michael, Annabelle, John, Jack, Christine, Bernadette, Peter, Benedict, and Francis and didn’t look up the other family names they listed for consideration (George, William, etc.) … but then when I was making my list of ideas for them, I had Katherine and Patricia as two of my girl suggestions—and then I saw they were already on their family names list! So I found it a challenge to come up with *new* ideas!

Before I get to the ideas I did end up with, I first want to say how much I like Mary Christine, and I wondered if they’d considered using just Christine as the first name? I would be excited to see it as a first name, as it’s really unusual these days and it’s one of my favorite of the Christ- names, so elegant and lovely.

Bernadette I love as well, but I wondered if they would agree with me that using Bernadette or Benedict now would knock the other out for the future? They seem similar enough to me in sound and appearance that brother and sister Benedict and Bernadette seem a bit much. But I do love Benedict as well, both the name and especially our Pope Emeritus. I find it’s a bit tricky to find middle names for it, as most parents find they want to avoid initials BJ, BM, and BF, but Benedict Charles would be quite handsome, as would Benedict George (and George could be a nod to Pope Francis, as his birth name is Jorge [=George] — two popes in one!), and I think something like Benedict Leo and Benedict Henry would be great as well.

Peter Charles is wonderful, just a great combination. And Francis is great, and Frankie is so cute.

Okay! Onto my new ideas/suggestions:

Girl
(1) Rosemary, Rosemarie, Rosalie, Rosamond
Rosemary is a style match for Bernadette and Rosamond for Benedict, and with Rose already on their list of family names for consideration, I thought names like these made sense to suggest. I know Rosemary, Rosemarie, and Rosalie all end in the long E sound, but I’ve said them all over and over again with their last name, and I don’t mind them at all. Maybe because they’re longer than a nickname? Rosie LastName has the sound they don’t care for I think, but the longer versions are lovely. And Rosamond gets away from that altogether. Rose can easily be the nickname for each of these, which also avoids the rhymey endings.

(2) Juliet
Annabelle seems to be a bit of an outlier style-wise—all the other names they’ve got on their list are basically swirling around the same area, but Annabelle has a little pop of color that I just love. Juliet is a style match for it, which is one of my favorite names, and when I saw that Julia is a style match for John, I thought that gave me enough permission to suggest Juliet to Lauren and her hubs. I spotlighted Juliet here.

(3) Teresa, Theresa, Therese
Teresa’s a style match for Christine, Theresa’s a match for Peter, and Therese is a match for Bernadette! Each has its merits (how great for a little girl to be named after Mother Teresa during the very autumn that she was canonized! And of course St. Therese — all the roses! And Theresa can be for either of them); all can take the nicknames Tess or Tessa, which I think would be really great for this family, especially for a sister for John-who-always-goes-by-Jack. (For more on T(h)erese see my Sibling Project page.)

(4) Evangeline or Genevieve
These two were actually style matches for both Annabelle and Benedict! They’re both gorgeous names, and I’m listing them together because they’re sort of a one-or-the-other proposition, since they both have strong E and V sounds. They both can take the nicknames Evie and Vivi, which I assume they wouldn’t like with their last name, but Genevieve could also be Gen, Genna, or Vieve.

Boy
(1) Bennett
I was really excited about Bennett for this family! I’d scribbled it down for them when I first read Lauren’s email and saw that she’s not sure about Benedict, because Bennett’s a medieval diminutive of Benedict and it can be a bit easier to deal with than Benedict for many—not quite as heavy, but retaining the same holy connections (though not as obviously). And then I discovered it’s a style match for Annabelle! Woo!

(2) Thomas
Thomas is just a solid, classic name, and though all those solid, classic boys’ names can be considered similar to each other, Thomas was particularly listed as similar to Michael, John, and Peter. And not that they asked for middle name ideas, but I’m loving the idea of Thomas Benedict. 🙂

(3) Stephen
Stephen is a style match for Michael, Peter, and Christine, and I’ve been hearing it here and there on little boys recently, and I’m always pleasantly surprised. Both my 8yo and 4yo have best friends named Stephen, and both go by the full Stephen. Danielle Bean, editor-in-chief of Catholic Digest, has a son named Stephen Matthias, which is such a swoony combo!

(4) Philip
My last idea is Philip—it’s a style match for both Bernadette and Peter, and the full Philip is one of my favorites. I know some people have trouble with nicknames, because Phil is hard to picture on a little guy, but I’ve been suggesting Finn as a possible nickname for Philip recently, which I love, especially paired with an N middle name (I love the idea of the first+middle combo Philip Neri with the nickname Finn!). If they’re worried about a P given name with an F nickname, there’s precedence in Julia Roberts’ son Phinnaeus going by Finn. (I’ve also been suggesting Finn as a nickname for Francis, if they want to consider that.)

And those are my ideas for Lauren and her husband! What do you all think? What would you suggest for the little brother or sister of Michael, Annabelle, and Jack?

Birth announcement: Owen Xavier!

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A mama I did a private consultation for has let me know her baby boy has arrived and been given the awesome name … Owen Xavier!

She writes,

“I thought I’d let you know our baby was born at home on Sept 22 at 4:44 pm, after about two hours of labor (though I was only certain I was in labor for about half of that). Owen Xavier was 9 lbs, 1 oz and 21.75 inches long. He’s a keeper!

We actually have been debating charging his middle name due to some uncertainty but I think we’re going to stick with it.”

First of all, can you believe she was in labor for only two hours, and she was only certain she was in labor for an hour?! What! Second of all, Owen Xavier is such a cool combo! I love it! I also love her explanation behind it:

“St. Nicholas Owen seems like such a great patron, and both him and St. Francis Xavier are Jesuits from the 16th century, which is kind of neat. One worked alone, one worked with people — seems to cover all possible bases for this little guy of ours. 😉 OXM seem like pretty cool initials, too.”

Such cool connections with two amazing saints!

He joins some amazingly named big siblings too:

Helen Perpetua
Susanna Jean
John Benedict (Jack)
Leo Tobias
Lucy Therese
Edith Rose
Lydia Agnes
Alice Louisa
Jane Elisabeth (in heaven)

Each combo is amazing! I love every single one! It is such a joy to see such beautiful names being used!

Congratulations to the whole family, and happy birthday Baby Owen!!

Owen Xavier

Bonus consultation: Baby girl for family with eclectic taste

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One of the things I find really fun is when a family has several children with names covering a bunch of different styles — I love seeing parents who just use names they like! But even in such situations, it’s not usually too hard to find a thread of a theme (or themes) running through the kids’ names, and I find it so fun to look for it and see what I find.

The family whose consultation I’m posting today is one such, and the reason I wanted to post it. Sara and her husband are expecting their fifth baby, and third girl! Their older kiddos are:

Kolbe Conrad (boy)
Jameson Clare (girl)
Elsie Jo (girl)
Jude Francis (boy — in heaven)

Such a fun, interesting set! And each combo is full of meaning:

“Kolbe is named after St. Maximillian Kolbe and his middle name is a family name, until recently I didn’t know there was a St. Conrad (thanks to your blog!). Jameson is named after my father in law who was diagnosed with brain cancer while I was pregnant with her. Elsie was my maternal grandmother’s name, and Jo is my husbands maternal grandmother’s name. We loved the name Jude because he is the patron saint of hope. With that being said, I want this baby’s name to have just as much meaning.”

I love how Sara and her hubs have honored their family members in the naming of their children — there are so many ways to do so! I was particularly interested to see Jameson, as I have a girl cousin named Jameson, and before her I hadn’t ever seen the name on a girl. She too has a very feminine middle name like Sara’s Jameson Clare, which I quite like.

Names that Sara and her hubs have considered for this baby girl include:

Finley (“my husband likes this, I’m not a fan“)
Philomena (“this is Kolbe’s pick…sisterly love!“)
Faustina
Hope
Rose
Ruth

And names on the no-go list:

Lucy
Grace
Emma
Rebecca

The names they’re considering are just as eclectic as the names they’ve already used — I love them! And I was really eager to see what names my research would yield! You all know that I almost always start a consultation by looking up the names the parents have already used and those they like in the Baby Name Wizard as it lists, for each entry, boy and girl names that are similar in terms of style/feel/popularity. I knew Kolbe, Jameson-for-a-girl, and Faustina wouldn’t be in there, but I thought/hoped that Conrad, Jameson-for-a-boy, Elsie, Jude, Finley, Philomena, Hope, Rose, and Ruth would give an accurate picture.

I also picked through my own mental files and looked back in my blog, and I came up with a few ideas as well.

So! All that said, these are my ideas:

(1) Greer or Grier
In trying to figure out if there was any thread(s) of a theme that ran through their taste in names (as evidenced by the names they’ve already used and the ones on their list), I thought surnames-as-first-names (Kolbe, Jameson) and unisex-ish names for girls (Jameson, Finley) were two themes that were apparent. Greer (or Grier) immediately came to mind—it’s one of my favorite names, a unisex-ish first name (though definitely skewing more female in recent years, a la actress Greer Garson, which makes it a nice bridge name between the more masculine Jameson and the very feminine Elsie) that’s also a surname, and it’s got saintly connections as well as it’s a variant of Gregory!

(2) Meike
Another thread that seemed to run through their name choices was a Germanic element, as seen in Kolbe, Conrad, Elsie, and Philomena, which led me to think of Meike right away, another of my favorites. It’s a German diminutive of Maria, said like Micah, so it has a boyish feel to it even though it’s a feminine name. And it’s Marian! I’m always swoony over Marian names!

(3) Ruby
I also thought there was a little bit of an “old lady” feel to some of their ideas, like Elsie, Philomena, Faustina, Rose, and Ruth. Ruby was listed in the BNW as a match for both Jude and Rose, and it also reminded me a bit of the feel of Greer—a little bit brassy and a lot old Hollywood starlet. I spotlighted Ruby here, offering some faithy connections.

(4) Landry
Landry was also a suggestion I got from the BNW, a style match for Finley and the English & French variant of the Germanic name Landric. Behindthename.com, which I always go to for name meanings/origin/history, says it’s a masculine name (there are a few Sts. Landry, all male), but it’s listed in the BNW as feminine, which made me think Sara and her hubs might find it appealing (the Social Security Administration says it was #858 for boys in 2015 and #918 for girls, so pretty even matched). It’s got a really pretty sound!

(5) Mercy (or Mercedes?)
Mercy was inspired by Hope, of which it’s a style match per the BNW, but also this Jubilee Year of Mercy, which they are so lucky to be having a baby born in! I do worry that maybe Elsie and Mercy share too many sounds? Especially with their birth order being next to each other? In which case, I think Mercedes could work—it means “mercies” and also points to Our Lady of Mercy (as does Mercy, of course, Marian names for the win!), and has a more international feel than Mercy, which fits in nicely with their other kids. I discussed Mercedes more here.

(6) Saintly surnames
Finally, I couldn’t help but think of the saintly surnames that I think would be great matches for Kolbe, so I thought I’d list a bunch of them here:
— Avila (for St. Teresa of Avila and/or St. John of Avila)
— Cabrini (for Mother Cabrini/St. Frances Xavier Cabrini)
— Goretti (for St. Maria Goretti)
— Siena (for St. Catherine of Siena and/or St. Bernardine of Siena)
— Talbot (for Bl. Matt Talbot, read more here from a mom who considered Talbot for her daughter)

And those are all my ideas! What do you all think? What name(s) would you suggest for Sara and her husband, based on the names they’ve already used and those they like?

Birth announcement: Declan James!

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The mama from this consultation has let me know her little guy has arrived and been given the so-handsome name … Declan James!

She writes,

“I am the mama from the post about Robert Edward or Benedict Joseph.  We went through a few other names including your suggestion of Bennett which I still love.

Ultimately we returned to our rules with our oldest’s name, John Patrick. With John we wanted Irish saint and a new testament name. It was slightly easier with him because his great grandpa is also John.

After several discussions about the pronunciation of Kieran, we landed on Declan James. He narrowly missed the opportunity to be named James Finbar, as St. Finbar’s feast day is September 25th and my husband’s patron. Declan was born on the 28th and is 7.06 pounds and 21 inches long.”

What an amazing set of brothers!! I absolutely LOVE John Patrick and Declan James together!!

Congratulations to the whole family, and happy birthday Baby Declan!!

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Declan James

Sibling Project: Therese

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I’ve still got St. Therese on my mind, three days after her feast day! 🌹

In July I asked for feedback regarding T(h)eresa for my Sibling Project, and at the time I wasn’t 100% sure whether I would do an entry for Therese or not. Ultimately I decided that I think Therese is different enough in style/feel that it needs its own entry, so here’s its post — we’ll see if I’m right!

As with Theresa, I actually don’t think Therese’s entry in the Baby Name Wizard is that far off:

Girls: Marianne, Louise, Bernadette, Nadine, Helene, Patrice

Boys: Gerard, Roland, Laurence, Claude, Armand, Jerome

I fully agree with the French feel and/or saintliness of Marianne, Louise, Bernadette, Gerard, and Jerome. But I do think the entry could use some tweaking, as I think I’m correct in saying that most of the families I see that have a Theresa variant use Therese, and not a lot of families use names like Nadine, Patrice, Claude, and Roland. The SSA data shows that overall Therese is “a bit downbeat” as Laura put it in the BNW — it’s fallen hard from its most recent peak at No. 252 in 1959 (it had a higher peak at No. 220 in 1927 before falling and rising again. I’m going out on a not-very-shaky limb and say that its 1927 peak was entirely due to our sweet St. Therese, who was beatified in 1923 and canonized in 1925).

therese

But it hasn’t been in the top 1000 since 1984!

So tell me about all the little Thereses you know! (“Little”=15 years old or younger.) How do they pronounce their name? Do they go by a nickname? What are their siblings’ names?

And beyond real-life examples, what names (for girls and boys) do you think are style matches for Therese?

Baby name consultant: Baby girl No. 2 with JR initials or … ?

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Betsy and her husband Chas are expecting their second little one — a second daughter! Their first sweet little girl has the beautiful name:

Claire Eleanore

Betsy tells her name story thusly:

“When we were considering names, we just threw out ideas and both liked Claire early on. I don’t think we ever came across a girl’s name that either of us liked better. We decided to choose a middle name that started with “E” so that she would have my husband’s initials. In the end, we just really liked Eleanore, but it also had some loose connections for us. My sister is Ellen and Chas had a teacher that was a big influence on him who is named Eleanore (we took her spelling of the name). We did not know if Claire was going to be a boy or a girl, so if she had been a boy, she would have been Lewis Frank.”

For this baby girl, Betsy writes,

“I really like Julia Rose after my dad. (Yes, my dad! I have to give your posts credit for convincing me that it is ok to honor someone indirectly using a variant of their name, or in this case initials.) My dad is James Robert but my husband has an uncle James and a cousin Robert (on his dad’s side — so they share our last name). We have pretty much ruled out either of those names for a boy because I don’t like the idea of having the same first/last combo as another living relative. I think if we do decide to use JR initials for a girl, we will go with Julia Rose, however, I am interested in any suggestions you might have for us.”

I’m so delighted that something I wrote has been helpful! 😀

For further inspiration, names they like for boys include:

Joseph
Theodore
Connor (“[but] I don’t want to use another “C” name“)
William/Liam
Lewis

Okay, first up are my ideas for initials JR. I love Julia Rose! Other J names that are great include:

  • Juliet (I know, it’s basically Julia, but it’s one of my very very favorites, so I had to list it! I spotlighted it here, and this mom nearly chose Juliet as the name for her Clara’s sister)
  • Jacinta (I know, Jacinta probably isn’t their style, but it’s another of my very favorites, and Bl. Jacinta is the sweetest patron. If it helps, I think Jess(ie) is my favorite nickname for it. I spotlighted Jacinta here)
  • Judith (yup, I did a spotlight on Judith too! Haha!  What an amazing name! I also did one on unusual nicknames for it)
  • Josephine (they have Joseph on their boy list, but Josephine is such an amazing style match for Claire and so many other names on their list!)
  • Johanna (Johanna-with-an-H was really calling to me as a name Betsy might like. Joanna’s nice too, but the H really seems more their style to me, for inexplicable gut reasons)
  • Jane (Claire and Jane would make the most amazing pair of sisters! I love the nickname Janie)
  • Joy (I’ve been digging Joy recently, what a sweet name!)
  • June or Juniper (Junie could be a nickname for either of these, which I just die over! So sweet!)

And R names:

  • Ruth (Ruth in the Bible is one of my very favorite women, and I think it makes a smashing middle name) (or first name, for that matter, mostly because of Ruthie! Love it!)
  • Ruby (I looove the name Ruby—I spotlighted here, with all the faithy connections I could think of)
  • Rosa, Rosalie (I know they already have Rose in consideration as a middle for Julia, but Rosa and Rosalie are great options if they’d like to consider something longer than one syllable)
  • Roma (this makes me think of Rome and the Pope and the Vatican and Roman Catholic, a fun and unusual option!)
  • Rosemary/Rosemarie (another great option if you need a longer middle name to go with a very short first name, for example)
  • Rosary (I know! So unexpected! This mom named her daughter Rosary!)
  • Rebecca (Ditto the longer middle for a shorter first idea)
  • Regina (gorgeous Marian name, and so great for the middle)
  • Rosanna (so beautiful!)

Some first+middle combos that come to mind right away include:

  • Juliet Rebecca
  • Juliet Regina
  • Juliet Rosanna
  • Jacinta Rose
  • Jacinta Rosemarie
  • Jacinta Rosalie
  • Jacinta Rosanna
  • Jacinta Ruth
  • Judith Rosalie
  • Judith Rosanna
  • Josephine Rose
  • Josephine Ruby
  • Josephine Regina (Mary and Joseph in one name!)
  • Johanna Rose
  • Johanna Ruby
  • [NOT Johanna Rosanna! Haha!]
  • Jane Rosalie
  • Jane Rebecca
  • Jane Rosanna
  • Joy Regina
  • Joy Rebecca
  • Joy Rosanna
  • June Rebecca
  • June Regina
  • June Rosanna

Whew! 😀

Okay! On to my other suggestions for Betsy and her hubs. You all know that I almost always start a consultation by looking up in the Baby Name Wizard the names the parents have used and like/are considering as it lists, for each entry, boy and girl names that are similar in terms of style/feel/popularity. Based on that research and my own mental files, these are my ideas:

(1) Violet
Violet has that same sweet, sort of vintage-y charm that I get from Claire Eleanore. I love that a Violet could go by Vi or Lettie or the full Violet, and it can also be considered a Marian name!

(2) Josephine
I mentioned Josephine above—I just love it as a sister to Claire!

(3) Katherine, Zoe
K/Catherine is a style match for Julia, Joseph, and William, and is a great, classic, saintly name that goes great with Claire imo. But if Betsy and her hubs don’t like the alliteration (or even if they don’t mind it but are interested in unusual nicknames), I love that St. Catherine Laboure’s birth name was Zoe! Wow! I’ve heard of one little Catherine going by Zoe as a nickname, and another little Zoe named in honor of St. Catherine. Zoe was listed as a style match for Liam, so I thought it was fun to add in all this K/Catherine + Zoe info (and I’m suggesting the Katherine spelling since Betsy said they don’t want another C name).

(4) Grace
Grace is such a sweet, simple, gorgeous, Marian name. It’s a style match for Claire, Julia, and Rose, and has the awesome nickname Gracie.

(5) Amelia/Emilia
Amelia is similar in style to Eleanor and Julia, and when I saw Emily listed as similar to William, I thought of the spelling Emilia, which is the spelling of JP2’s mom and some other saints as well.

(6) Eve/Eva/Evelyn
Eva’s a match for Julia and Rose, and Evelyn for Eleanor and Theodore, and Eve just seemed like a great sister for Claire, that I thought I should suggest them all! They’re all gorgeous in their own way!

 

And those are my ideas for Betsy and her husband! What do you all think? What name(s) would you suggest for Claire’s little sister?

Bonus consultation: Preference for three-syllable Old-World catacomb-y names

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I’m excited to post this bonus consultation for a couple with such a wonderful story — the mama, Kara, is American and her husband is British, and they live in England, and she shared that, “My husband and I are converts. He was a Church of England Clergyman, and now he’s a Catholic priest.”

How wonderful is that?!! What a great and inspiring story!!

I don’t think many of us know any families with this kind of background, and I love hearing from our international readers, and when I asked Kara if she would mind if I posted her consultation today, she told me that today is her husband’s fourth anniversary of ordination! Congratulations to him! It’s also the feast of Sts. Gabriel, Michael, and Raphael, so yeah, just a great day all around. 🙂

Kara writes,

“My 4th is due at the end of October and if it’s a boy, we are stuck for a name! If it’s a girl, then the name will be Helena Mary.”

This little green bean 🌱 (=gender unknown) will join big sibs:

Rosamond Mary (“She’s known as Rosey, and named after my Godmother and Our Lady“)

Matthias Michael (“We always had Matthias picked for our first boy. Shortly before he was born a priest friend died and his name was Fr. Michael. It seemed right to remember him by using his name“)

Simeon Thomas (“Simeon was not a name I loved, but when I was pregnant with him the Feast of the Presentation came along, and I felt like the Lord was saying you are going to have a boy, and his name should be Simeon. And I was all like, really Lord? And He was like, yes. So we went with it. And it suits him very well. The name Thomas is from my husband’s grandfather. The only grandparent he knew was this grandfather who died when he was a child.”)

I just loooove these names!! Rosamond is a fairly uncommon Ros- name, and Rosey is so sweet! Matthias is a favorite of mine, and I love seeing Simeon used! I definitely think it needs to be used more!

Kara continues,

“Ok, here’s all the stuff that makes us super picky…

We don’t want a popular name. For us, that probably means it needs to be below the top 100 baby boy names. And it gets worse — I am American, my husband is British, we live in England. So it can’t be in the top 100 in the UK or the USA. [The 2015 list can be found here.]

Also, the name can’t be pronounced different in the UK and USA. That kind of thing drives me crazy! So Anthony is pronounced Antony here and something like Cordelia ends up being Cor-dee-lee-ah.

We’re not a fan of using last names as first names. So my husband’s patron is St. Edmund Campion, but we wouldn’t consider Campion as a name.

My husband thinks we have a thing going with naming our kids 3 syllable first names and 2 syllable middle names. I am not convinced that this pattern is essential.

I think we are probably wanting a saint’s name, but are open to thinking about other kinds of names.”

Names and patrons they’re considering (but none has felt totally right just yet) include:

Edmund (“My husband loves St. Edmund Campion, I love St. Edmund Arrowsmith. We definitely wouldn’t want Eddie to be a nickname though. There’s a bonus in that St. Edmund Arrowsmith was born near where we live in Liverpool and you can go get a blessing from his actual hand in a church nearby“)

Dominic (“I love Blessed Dominic Barberi. He is buried near to us. I love his story and I love that his mother used to say to her kids, “Children, you can be saints!”. Unfortunately, Dominic is a pretty chav name in Liverpool. (Chavs are urban youth in track suits and Burberry caps who wander in packs getting up to no good.) My husband does like the original St. Dominic too“)

Damien (“I love Fr. Damien of Molokai. But it’s also rather a chav name. And someone pointed out to me that Damien and Simeon sound rather similar. So I am not convinced“)

Gaetano/Cajetan (“My husband loves St. Gaetano Catanoso. The English version of his name is Cajetan evidently. Both seem a little too wild for me“)

John Henry Newman (“My husband really likes him, but the name is too popular. Also, our last name is Brown, so I would always think of that song “John Brown had a little Indian…””)

Peter Julian Eymard (“He’s another one my husband likes“)

Paschal Baylon (“We both like him. We live in St. Paschal Baylon Presbytery though, so it seems odd to name a child after where you live!“)

St. Nicholas (“My husband likes his story. We also like St. Nicholas Owen. But it’s too popular and I have a brother named Nicholas“)

Ambrose Barlow (“He has links to the area we live in, so that’s nice“)

I had a lot of fun finding names that would fit their criteria—I found quite a few three-syllable names that were below the top 100 in both America and the UK! I had a few other ideas as well, which seem like they might work well for Kara and her hubs, but first a few thoughts about the names they’re considering/that they’d like to consider:

— I love Edmund for them, I think it’s so great, and as for the nickname issue—Ned is as traditional as Ed/Eddie, and it’s a style match for Rosey (according to the Baby Name Wizard, which may not be terribly accurate for them since it’s based on US naming trends, but in this instance I think it’s spot on). I will say though that Rosamond and Edmund sound almost *too* good together, with the similar endings. Campion totally seems like it would be more their speed, especially since it has the vowel doublet that they seem to like (Matthias, Simeon, Damien), and I love love the nickname Cam, but if they really won’t consider last names and they don’t want to use Edmund, I wonder what they would think of Eamon? It’s an Edmund variant that I love, which could nod to both the Sts. Edmund that Kara and her husband favor.

— I’m so interested in the feel of the name Dominic where they live! I’d actually asked Kara if I could post that one bit about the chav names sometime, just as a way of showing how certain names have different connotations in different places, but I didn’t get to it. So interesting though, right? I’ve heard the term “chav” before but hadn’t ever had a really good handle on what it means.

— I agree with her about Damien and Simeon sounding too similar, boo!

— I love Gaetano/Cajetan too, but Kara’s right—they’re pretty wild!

— John Henry Newman is great—I wonder if they would consider the full John Henry? Or maybe changing it up to something like Ian Henry? It’s not as obvious, but it definitely works, since Ian is a form of John.

— I wonder if Peter Julian Eymard’s middle name might be just their speed—Julian has that vowel couplet, and it’s a style match for Dominic, Damian, and Nicholas!

— I love Paschal too! I can’t tell if I think it would be too weird? Our church is named for St. Clement, and I’ve often thought that Clement would be an awesome name for us, not just because of the saint/meaning, but also because of our parish (we were married here too, and all our kids baptized here, so it’s meaningful to us). I tend to think our community would love a little one named after our church, but maybe with Kara’s husband being the priest it gives it a weird edge?

— Oh gosh, I love St. Nicholas Owen too. Would Owen work?

Alrighty, on to my ideas for Kara and her husband! Their style is pretty consistent, at least according to the BNW—very old world and kind of catacomb-y, which I love love love!

(1) Barnaby or Barnabas
Barnaby has always had a Brit feel to me—and I apologize in advance if I’m totally off about what has a British vibe! I think there’s a street in London by that name? Is that a bad thing? I admit I fell in love with it listening to the lyrics from the song from Hello Dolly (sung by characters named Ambrose, Cornelius, and Barnaby—a pretty great set!). Barnabas is another variant, which isn’t as cheerful sounding as Barnaby (which could be good). I like both of them a lot, and there are a few saints/blesseds to choose from. Barnaby is a style match for Rosamond, has never been in the top 1000 in the U.S., and isn’t in the top 100 in the UK.

(2) Thaddeus
Thaddeus is similar to Barnaby in terms of being weighty and biblical, and it’s a style match for Rosamond and Matthias. It feels like maybe a little much for everyday use—more so than Matthias and Simeon, despite that they’re all the same number of syllables—but I know two little Thaddeuses who go by Taddy, which I love, and which would particularly fit in with sister Rosey. Thaddeus was #703 in 2015 in the U.S., and isn’t in the top 100 in the UK.

(3) Leopold
Leopold is similar to Rosamond and Matthias, and trims down to Leo so easily. It’s so handsome and sophisticated, and three syllables! I enjoyed the stories of all three of these holy men. It hasn’t ever been in the top 1000 in the U.S., and isn’t in the top 100 in the UK.

(4) Raphael
This one might be problematic pronunciation-wise—I know there are pronunciation issues here, where I hear both rah-fay-EL (mostly) and RAY-fee-uhl (occasionally). Raphael was #537 in 2015 in the U.S., and isn’t in the top 100 in the UK.

(5) Tobias
Rosamond and Matthias shared a bit more overlap in terms of names that were similar to them, so I really wanted to loop Simeon in. Tobias is a style match for it, as well as for Raphael, which is a match for Matthias and Dominic as well. Such a great name! It’s the most popular of the names I’m suggesting, coming in at #316 in 2015 in the U.S. and on an upward trajectory; it’s not in the top 100 in the UK.

(6) Phineas/Phinnaeus
Are you seeing a theme here? All these great, heavy-hitting names with vowel couplets! Phineas is another great one—the first time I heard it on a child in real life was Julia Roberts’ son Phinnaeus, who goes by Finn, which is one of my favorite names ever. Phineas is a match for Simeon, Barnaby, Raphael, and Tobias, hasn’t ever been in the top 1000 in the U.S., and isn’t in the top 100 in the UK.

(7) Joachim
This is the only name that didn’t come from my research, and it may be too like Gaetano/Cajetan to Kara in terms of being too wild, but it’s super saintly and I always think of it as exclusively Catholic, though I know it has more use in Europe than America, and likely some of those Joachims aren’t Catholic I suppose. I think it has the feel of Matthias and Simeon without being obviously biblical. It’s never been in the top 1000 in the U.S., and isn’t in the top 100 in the UK.

(8) Benedict
Another great, heavy-hitting, saintly, three-syllable name! I’m actually surprised Benedict’s not on their list already, so maybe that means they already considered it and decided they didn’t like it? But it’s a match for Rosamond, Edmund, Ambrose, Barnaby, and Thaddeus! The last time Benedict was in the U.S. top 1000 was in 1968 (#971), and (despite Benedict Cumberbatch, who I assume is a good association) it’s not in the top 100 in the UK.

(8) Piers/Pierce
This last one gets away from the three-syllable, heavy, mostly biblical feel of the previous suggestions. Piers is a style match for Rosamond, and I really like that it’s not obviously biblical, so I feel like it fits in with Rosey’s name a bit more than some of the others, but at the same time it *is* biblical, being a variant of Peter, which ties it in nicely with Kara’s other boys. I know there’s Piers Morgan, and I don’t know if that’s a good/bad/neutral association. If negative, Pierce might be a nice alternative. Piers has never been in the top 1000 in the U.S., though Pierce was #466 in 2015; neither are in the top 100 in the UK.

And those are my ideas for Kara and her husband! What do you all think? What name(s) would you suggest for the little brother for Rosamond, Matthias, and Simeon?

Nicknames: Fulton

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I’ve had several requests over the last couple of years from readers for nickname ideas for Fulton — most recently in yesterday’s consultation — and I feel like I’m really short on ideas!

I think Finn could work, or Flynn, and eclare offered Fult as well (“kind of like Walt” she said), which is so great and natural. I was thinking that Philip is sort of similar (two syllables, starting with the F sound, an L in the middle) that maybe Fil/Phil could work (though Phil tends to the be the nickname that parents of today’s little Philips want to avoid), or Flip (like for something like Fulton Patrick?). Skimac suggested a Fulton could go by a nickname of his middle name, if he really wanted a nickname, and I like that suggestion too (though it was very specifically for yesterday’s family, who has a daughter who sometimes goes by a nickname of her middle name).

I’m really really hoping the rest of you can add to this list! I’d love to hear all your ideas, and especially if you know any Fultons in real life who go by a nickname — please share!

Baby name consultant: Biblical boy name with one-syllable nickname preferred

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Stephanie and her husband are expecting their fifth born baby, a little green bean 🌱(=gender unknown)! He or she will join big sibs:

Bethany Grace
Luke Michael
Jackson Paul
Caeli Rose

I looooove these names!! They’re all amazing, and I really love seeing Caeli used in real life!

About naming her older kiddos Stephanie writes,

“We have many girl’s names that we love but we are stuck on boy’s names! Bethany Grace was a name my husband and I just loved — we consider her patron Our Lady of Grace. Bethany is obviously a biblical region. She goes by Beth.

Luke Michael is named after St. Luke and St. Michael the archangel. Michael is also my husband’s and both of our dad’s middle names.

Jackson Paul is named after two of our grandfathers — Jack and Paul. Paul is also a strong biblical name. He goes by Jack.

We lost two babies through early miscarriage between Jack and Caeli — Samuel and Veronica. I just knew that first baby was a boy and that his name was Samuel, and my husband chose Veronica because we lost her during lent and Veronica was on his mind a lot as we prayed the stations of the cross frequently.

Caeli Rose was a name given to me by God — I can’t explain it. We didn’t find out her gender before birth but I think somewhere deep in my soul I knew she would be Caeli Rose. Everyone calls her Caeli (Chay-lee) and I frequently call her Rosie as a nickname.”

Such gorgeous names, and such significance behind each one! I love them all!

About the naming of this baby Stephanie writes,

“The girl names we’re considering are Stella or Stella Maris, Kateri, or Philomena. I love them all and would be happy with any of them, by my husband is leaning towards Stella!

The boy names give us grief! I feel like there should be a biblical connection, and should probably have a decent one-syllable nickname. Sam was a perfect fit but he is our saint in heaven and I can’t use that again. We also love Matthew but it’s my brother and nephew’s name (so we don’t want to use any derivatives either). John and Jacob are out (too close to Jack). And I’m just not feeling Mark or any of the other obvious new testament names. I considered Judah but I don’t think my husband loves it!

We’ve also tossed around Augustine (Gus or Auggie), Benedict, William, Ambrose or Fulton. What are nicknames for Ambrose and Fulton? I get so hung up on nickname options! We also like Joseph and would probably consider it as a middle name. My husband has a devotion to St. Gerard but I’m not sure I’d name my baby Gerard, and Majella sounds more feminine to me.”

First off, how lucky is Stephanie to have a list of girls’ names that she’s totally fine with, and her husband likes one of them—that’s sort of rare in the emails I get! Most of the time I hear how Mom likes certain names and Dad doesn’t like any of them or vice versa. They’re all beautiful.

And the boy names! I love their criteria of biblical connection + “decent one-syllable nickname”—I have lots of ideas! But first—regarding Judah—I wonder if they’ve considered just Jude?

I love Augustine, Benedict, William, Ambrose, and Fulton—heavy hitters, all! And I totally understand getting hung up on nickname options—I’m the same way, nicknames are so important and half the fun of choosing a name in my opinion! I’ve often thought about nicknames for Ambrose because it’s on our list as well—I’ve seen Brose as a fairly traditional nickname for it, but maybe too close to Caeli’s sometimes nickname Rosie? I’ve also seen Amby, but my faves are the ones I’ve come up with on my own: Sam (which wouldn’t work for this family), Bram (a traditional nick for/variant of Abraham but I think totally works as a nick for Ambrose!), Abe (so cute!), Bo, Brady or Brody (perhaps especially with a D middle name), and I think even something like Ace could work, especially if paired with a C middle name, like Ambrose Christopher or Ambrose Charles/Carl. And I recently discovered thanks to one of you wonderful readers that NBC’s Olympic swimming analyst and former swimming champion Rowdy Gaines’ first name is actually Ambrose. I’m dying over Ambrose nicked Rowdy! (I’ve included all these on my Nickname ideas page.)

Fulton’s hard! I’m not really coming up with anything but Ful! Or maybe Finn? (I have more thoughts on Finn — see Philip/Phineas below.)

A thought about Gus—I’ve come up with some other ways to get to Gus that might be helpful here — one of my favorites is something like Gregory Stephen with the nickname Gus (from the G of Gregory and the S of Stephen). St. Gregory’s awesome! Or a super biblical name is Gideon—something like Gideon Stephen or Gideon Solanus (for Ven. Solanus Casey) could lead to Gus as well.

Okay! So on to my ideas for Stephanie and her hubs—I basically just tried to think of all the biblical names that I thought would fit their style and have “decent one-syllable nicknames,” and I also looked up all the names they’ve used and those they like in the Baby Name Wizard as it lists, for each entry, boy and girl names that are similar in terms of style/feel/popularity—I found some new ideas in there and confirmed the others that I’d already had on my list for them. Here they are:

(1) Benjamin or Benedict/Bennett
As far as Ben- names go, Benedict is more saintly/Catholic-sounding than Benjamin, but Benjamin’s a bit easier for the non-Catholicky Catholic part of the world to handle, if that makes any sense, and it seems like a better fit for Stephanie and her hubs because they’d really like a biblical name.

Benedict’s great though, and having the nickname Ben kind of makes it feel a little biblical, even though it’s not — does that make sense? Bennett is also a possibility — it’s a medieval form of Benedict.

(2) Caleb
Caleb’s one of my top suggestions for them—it totally seems their  style to me, and it can take the great nickname Cal! I love that!

(3) Dominic
I know, Dominic’s not biblical, but it fits with the feel of Benedict, Augustine, and Ambrose, and comes with the great nickname options Dom and Nic(k), so I thought I’d suggest it anyway!

(4) Gabriel
When Stephanie said she’s “not feeling Mark or any of the other obvious new testament names,” my sense was that she meant the “normal” names like Andrew, Peter, etc., and that some of the less popular NT names might be okay. I would put Gabriel in the “less popular” category because traditionally it hasn’t been used as much as the others (though it’s fairly popular today), and I like it for this family a lot. The nickname Gabe is a great one too—it has a similar feel to me as Jack, Sam, and Ben. I’ve also seen Gil as a nickname for Gabriel, so that’s another option too.

(5) Joshua
I wonder if they’ve considered Joshua? I love that it can be considered a name for Jesus, since Jesus comes from a Greek translation of Joshua, and Josh is a great nickname.

(6) Nathaniel/Nathan
Like Gabriel, I would put Nathaniel especially in the “less obvious” NT category, and the nickname Nate is a great one. But perhaps Nathan is more their speed?

(7) Nicholas
Nicholas is actually a New Testament name, and the nickname options Nick and Cole are both fab.

(8) Philip or Phineas
I’m guessing Philip is one of those obvious NT names Stephanie doesn’t care for, but I wonder if the right nickname could jazz it up enough for her? We considered Philip as a first name with Neri as a middle (St. Philip Neri!) and the nickname Finn, but I think Finn could work as a nickname for Philip even without an N middle name. Or maybe a different middle name? Philip Nicholas? Phineas is another possibility—it’s an OT name, and Julia Roberts named one of her sons Phinnaeus (I like that spelling too) and calls him Finn. Finn is really on-trend right now, in a good way imo, I love it! There’s also the new Star Wars character Finn, who’s awesome.

(9) Raphael
I love the name Raphael and the nickname Rafe—so cool and fairly uncommon! And it’s an OT name, which is a nice biblical connection.

(10) Seth
I think Seth could really work for this family! It’s a great one-syllable name like Luke, and of course fits in with their one-syllable nicknames.

(11) Thaddeus or Theodore
I’m not sure they’ll like the full Thaddeus (though it’s a style match for Veronica and Benedict), but it’s a NT name that has the super cute nickname option of Tad—I know two little Tads (nicks for Thaddeus), and I just love hearing it/saying it. I suspect Theodore might be more their speed, though it loses the biblical connection, but its nickname Ted is one syllable and really similar to Tad. (Theo’s also a great nickname option.)

(12) Timothy
I’m guessing they’ve already ruled out Timothy, but hear me out! I’m really feeling it recently—I never hear Timothy on new little boys, but it’s a great biblical name, and Timmy and Tim are solid, handsome nicknames. I’ve also recently been thinking that Ty’s a great nickname option for Timothy, cute!

(13) Zechariah or Isaac
I feel like Phineas, Thaddeus, and Zechariah kind of go in the same category—names that might just be a little more than what Stephanie and her hubs like. But Zachary seemed like a great fit for them until I remembered that they can’t have brothers Jack and Zach, so I wondered about Zechariah, which can be Zeke instead. Zeke’s so fun! And I love the connection of Zechariah to St. Elizabeth/St. John the Baptist/Our Lady/the Mystery of the Visitation.

Isaac is awesome too, one of my faves, and even though the undoable Zac is a common enough nickname for it, I also think Zeke could work, and Ike is very traditional and adorable. And I saw somewhere online that today used to be the feast of St. Isaac Jogues and Companions (and still is in Canada?) (one of his companions was St. Gabriel Lalemant — see Gabriel above)!

And those are all my ideas for Stephanie and her husband! What do you all think? What names would you suggest for a little brother for Bethany, Luke, Jackson, and Caeli?