Month: September 2016

Celebrity guest: Katheryn, expert on naming and adoption

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Last month I told you that I’d received a request to write about names for adopted children, and so many of you gave great feedback with your experiences — I intended to put it all together along with some of my own research into a post or article (and I still might), but then one of you wonderful readers — Katheryn from the blog Bucket and Roon and Etsy shop Juniper Plum (gooorgeous icons and other beautiful things for children!) — emailed me because she has extensive experience with adoption: two of her sisters and her four children all came to her family through adoption (both international [sisters] and domestic [children]).

I already followed Katheryn on Instagram because her kiddos’ ah-MAZ-ing names had caught my attention (and also their general cuteness and amazing style! 😍), and so I was absolutely thrilled to hear more about their naming, and that of her sisters as well. I know you’ll love what she has to say!

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Kate: You said you have open adoptions with all your kids. In your experience, what role does the birth mom/birth parents play in the naming of the child?

Katheryn: Generally, in domestic infant adoptions, the birth parents choose a name to go on the original birth certificate at the hospital. This is the child’s legal name until the adoption is finalized, usually at around six months of age. When the adoption is finalized, the adoptive parents are issued a new birth certificate with them listed as the child’s parents, and it is at this time that the child’s name is also legally changed to the name they have chosen. Sometimes birth parents will chose a name that is special to them, sometimes they love the name the adoptive parents have chosen so will write that name on the original birth certificate from the beginning, or sometimes they might decline to write a name at all.

Kate: Relatedly (and maybe this is answered in the first question), do you consider the birth mom/birth parents when choosing a name for your children? For example, giving the birth mom’s first name as your daughter’s middle?

Katheryn: It often means a lot to the birth parents if you try to include them in the naming somehow. I’ve heard of several adoption stories where both the parents and birth parents had picked the same name separately on their own! Some parents will offer to let them chose the middle name, or some will share a list of the names they are deciding between and let the birth parents have the final pick. Sometimes parents choose to honor their child’s birth heritage in other ways, either by naming them after a birth parent, using a name in the birth family tree, or using an initial that is the same as the birth mother’s.

Kate: Have any of your children been older when you adopted them, having already been given a name that they’ve become attached to? If so, how do you handle naming?

Katheryn: All of our children were adopted at birth, so we haven’t dealt with this, but while most families who adopt older children will choose a brand new first name, others will keep the name they have, choose a variant of that name, or choose a name that is close in sound to their birth name to help with this.

Kate: In terms of international adoption, as you said you have twin sisters who were adopted from another country, what considerations did your parents give to their cultural heritage, if any?

Katheryn: My twin sisters were adopted from Vietnam at 9 months old. My parents chose to honor their birth heritage by giving them middle names with the same meaning as the meaning of their birth names.  My sisters’ birth names meant “river” and “rose” in Vietnamese. So my parents chose the names Camille Sabrina Pia and Zellie Rose Pia for them. With international adoptions, a lot of the time parents will get very little information about their child’s background, and sometimes all the child really has of their birth history is their name.

My twin sisters are only ten — I am the eldest of 12. My parents had ten bio kids before they adopted the twins after I was married. But at the time we hadn’t met anyone else named Zellie. My parents spelled it that way to help with pronunciation issues. It’s wonderful how it seems to be booming in Catholic circles now though!

Kate: If you don’t mind sharing, I’d love to know the stories behind the naming of each of your children—both how/why you chose their names, and also what role the birth moms/parents played, if any.

Katheryn: Our oldest is Verity Majella Judea Hawthorne. Her first name is a combo name “Verity Majella,” like “Mary Elizabeth,” but we call her Verity most of the time. We fell in love with Verity because of its meaning, “truth.” Majella is after St. Gerard Majella, patron saint of mothers, to whom I grew to have a special devotion through all my years of praying for a baby. Judea is after my deceased Grandma Judy. Verity was due on her birthday and when my Grandpa found out he asked if we would consider naming Verity after her. I also loved the biblical symbolism of Judea. Hawthorne is her connection to her birth history. She was born in Missouri, and the state flower there is the White Hawthorn Blossom. She is also named after the remarkable Rose Hawthorne, daughter of Nathaniel Hawthorne.

Our second daughter is Gethsemane Juniper Anne. Gethsemane has been the name dearest to my heart since I was a girl. Back when I thought I might have a vocation, I hoped I would be able to pick it as my religious name someday. I love it because it is the name of the garden that Jesus would retreat to, a place where He would seek solace and peace- we tell our Gethsemane that it is the name of His favorite garden. I also think of it as a symbol for the beauty of choosing God’s will over our own, since it is there when in His agony Jesus prayed, “not my will, but Thine be done.” Gethsemane also means “peace,” so she is also named after Mary, Queen of Peace. Juniper is after St. Junipero Serra (my husband and I both grew up around the Missions and were married at Carmel Mission) and also Servant of God Brother Juniper, known as “the renowned jester of the Lord.” When we were matched with her birth mother, we agreed on naming her together. She wanted to choose a middle name, so she picked Anne, because it was a family name on her side and it just so happened to be a family name on my side as well.

Then came our Bosco, whose full name is Bosco Willis Yard. I was so sure that we would have another girl that we hadn’t talked about a boy name, but Bosco had been both my husband’s and my favorite boy name for many years. Can there be a better patron for a little boy than St. John Bosco? Willis Yard is the name traditionally given to the first born son on my father’s side of the family, so we knew we wanted that somewhere in his name. Bosco’s birth parents wanted his naming left completely up to us, but Will is a family name on his birth father’s side as well.

Our latest blessing is Hyacinth Clemency Veil. With our three previous adoptions we had short adoption waits, ranging from 6 weeks to 4 months. For Hyacinth we waited almost three years. Some days, the only thing that kept me believing that we were doing God’s will and that He really did call us to adopt again was her name written on my heart. Even before we adopted Bosco, one day out of the blue, God spoke the name Hyacinth to me. It had never been on any of our name lists, but just like that it was tattooed on my heart and I just knew that our next daughter was to be named Hyacinth. She is named after St. Hyacinth of Poland. Clemency is after the Divine Mercy. I am passionate about the Divine Mercy devotion, and knew I wanted to name our next child after it in some way. Hyacinth was already born when her birth mom contacted our agency, and just guess whose feast she was born on — St. Faustina’s. Her birth mother originally wanted a closed adoption, but we are forever grateful that she changed her mind and met us at the hospital. When we asked if she wanted to chose a name with us she declined, but one of the few things she shared about herself with us was that she loves the color purple. When we told her that the meaning of the name Hyacinth is “purple,” the biggest grin broke out on her face. Before that, one of the only things I didn’t like about the name Hyacinth was its meaning, since purple seemed like such a lame meaning, but it ended up being just perfect. Veil is after the Holy Protection of Our Lady, since Mary’s veil is known as a symbol of her motherly protection and care. We felt like our whole adoption process and journey to Hyacinth was wrapped in Mary’s veil of love and protection and wanted to honor her in our daughter’s name. Traditionally the image of Mary, Mother of Mercy is one of Mary shown with her veil spread out over her children. We thought that was a very special connection between Clemency and Veil!

Wasn’t this all just so beautiful? There was so much love and respect and prayer that went into each name choice! I hope you all learned as much as I did about the naming of children who come into families through adoption — thank you so much to Katheryn for sharing her experiences!

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♥♥♥♥ Gethsemane Juniper Anne, Bosco Willis Yard, and Verity Majella Judea Hawthorne holding Hyacinth Clemency Veil ♥♥♥♥

Baby name consultant: Classic + modern for little green bean

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Amanda and her husband are expecting their third baby any day now — a little green bean (=gender unknown)! 🌱 She writes,

“The whole baby name discussion is a difficult one to have with my husband because we had a girls name we both loved and were sure we were going to use it…since before we were married.  But when our oldest, a girl, was born, it just didn’t work for us.  And, it’s now not even on our list…I don’t think we’d ever use it.  [The name we originally loved but most likely will never use: Annika.] So, he thinks it’s useless to talk names before a baby is born.  I think we should at least discuss it and have it narrowed down to a few names per gender to make naming easier at birth.  But we really struggle on agreeing on boys names, and I think suggestions for girls and boys names would be great!“

This wee babe will join big sibs:

Olivia Rita (“We had a list of 10 girls and 10 boys names, but were really planning on using Annika for a girl, and our list of boys names were not really either of our favourites.  We had both gone through our baby name book, and chosend our favourites, and then kept the ones on both our lists…which weren’t really either favourites.  When she was born, we looked at her and said, “Not Annika…” After sleeping on it, I was thinking Olivia.  He then spoke and said, “How about Olivia?”  That was it.  It was on our list … Rita was my husband’s maternal grandmother’s name.“)

Zachary Claude (Zach) (“We kind of had the same lists going as the first time, never really spoke about names, but both agreed early on that we liked Zachary.  And it stuck.  But we call him Zach more than anything … Claude was my paternal grandfather’s name“)

Great names, right? Classic and modern at the same time, love them!

They have a few guidelines they’d prefer to stick to:

  • nothing TOO crazy/modern
  • we like traditional
  • something that is relative to the faith/Biblical/Saint name (though last night, after I mentioned Jonah, Isaac, Benjamin, he said, “Nothing too biblical”)
  • middle names are after grandparents/great grandparents
  • traditional spelling
  • can be pronounced in French (My family is French, and my mother in law is also)

Further,

“… we think this baby’s middle name should come from my husband’s side. We’re considering Margaret for a girl’s middle name (though I kind of want to keep it for a future first name). That was his paternal grandmother’s name. His mom’s name is Laurel. His Dad’s name is Rob, and his paternal grandfather’s name was Howard.

Girl’s name we’re considering: Elizabeth Margaret (I love it, but kind of feel it’s a big name for a baby…lots of weight to the name)
 
Other Girls names we like:
– Charlotte (though with the Princess Charlotte, I’m not sure I want to name my baby that)
– Lucy (I love this name, but my husband thinks it’s too popular…)
– Dominique (My husband doesn’t like Dominic for a boy…but I do)
Also, we both like Luke/Lucas for a boy, but with our last name [beginning with Lu-], I won’t name our son that…I don’t want a boy nicknamed ‘Little LuLu.’  Plus, my sister in law just named her son Lucas … Also, we were talking about maybe Patrick Howard for a boy. My husband likes Ethan, and I really don’t.

So first off, I was so interested by their Annika story! How funny that a name that was so sure completely dropped off their list! I love the name they used instead—Olivia is lovely, and Rita’s an unexpected middle name, perfect. How awesome too that Amanda was thinking Olivia before her husband even suggested it! Wow! And Zachary/Zach is great too!

Regarding names they’re considering for this baby, I’m going to make a strong case for them to either consider Margaret for a first name now, or save it for possible future use. It’s a controversial topic—I wrote about it here — so if they decide to use it now anyway I totally understand! But it really seems like they love it, and I can see what they mean about Elizabeth Margaret having a lot of weight—Elizabeth and Margaret are both heavy hitters! (Although my brand new niece has a similar name, and it’s so lovely on her.) I love both Elizabeth and Margaret, I think they both make fantastic first names. If they decided to continue with honoring Amanda’s husband’s paternal grandmother in the middle spot, maybe a shorter version of Margaret, like Margo? Elizabeth Margo feels a little less weighty. Or Elizabeth Greta? Or Elizabeth Megan? The only potential problem with these ideas is that I would think they still knock out Margaret as a future first name. But maybe not? I do know of some families who don’t mind reusing middle names as first names for subsequent children.

Charlotte is a fantastic name, and having the same name as the beautiful little princess doesn’t seem like a bad thing to me at all! Charlotte is quite popular currently (and it was so before the princess was born)—it came in at #9 in the newly released name stats for 2015—but let’s talk about popularity for a minute because they have an Olivia, which has been in the top ten since 2001 and was #2 for the last two years, and they love #9 Charlotte, and they’re strongly considering Elizabeth (#13), but Mister thinks Lucy is too popular? It’s currently at #55—much less popular than their other ideas for girls! Maybe they live in a Lucy pocket? I don’t think popularity is a bad thing anyway—it’s often because a name is a really fantastic name that it becomes popular. So I wouldn’t let the popularity of Charlotte or Elizabeth or Lucy deter them! (For reference, Annika’s #572, pretty rare, and Dominique’s #906! I love Dominique—I’m surprised that Amanda’s hubs is really okay with it!)

As for boys, Dominic’s one of my favorite names, so I’m sorry Mister isn’t into it—it’s actually a fairly good fit for their style, especially Olivia. Ethan made me laugh—it’s an exact match for their style! You all know that I almost always start a consultation by looking up the names the parents have used and those they like/are considering in the Baby Name Wizard as it lists, for each entry, boy and girl names that are similar in terms of style/feel/popularity—Ethan is listed as a match for both Olivia, Zachary, and Luke! But if they don’t like it, then they don’t like it, I get it. I also quite like Patrick Howard, very handsome!

Okay, so based on my research in the Baby Name Wizard and my own mental files, these are my ideas for this family:

Girls

(1) Sophia

Sophia’s a style match for both Olivia and Dominic, and Sofia is a match for Annika, so I really liked that it’s a name that sort of bridges all their styles! It is very popular—right behind Olivia at #3—but it’s a gorgeous name and full of faith meaning (Sophia means “wisdom,” and is the name of a saint). They might also like to consider the French version Sophie, which is much less popular at #104.

(2) Abigail or Hannah

Both Abigail and Hannah were pretty equal matches with Olivia, Zachary, Elizabeth, and Luke, so I thought I’d put them in the same suggestion here. They’re both Old Testament names, but they’re so well used that I think their biblical-ness is not as obvious (not like Isaac, for example). Abigail’s #7 and Hannah’s #28, so they’re right in the zone of names Amanda and her hubs tend to like. I like them both for them! The nickname Abby’s awesome, and Hannah is so soft and sweet. Hannah Laurel is striking me as a really pretty combo with a nice flow.

(3) Emily/Emilie

Emily is a style match for Patrick and Ethan, which I thought was pretty good as far as being a style bridge. It also reminds me of Elizabeth with its E and L, and I thought Emily Margaret has a lighter feel than Elizabeth Margaret. It also reminds me of the French Amelie, which made me wonder if they’d like the spelling Emilie? So pretty! Today’s the feast of St. Emilie de Rodat.

(4) Madeline/Madeleine

Madeline was another name that was a match for both Olivia and Dominic, and I like that it has the French influence—there are the Madeline books, which are set in Paris, and the French spelling Madeleine is the same as St. Madeleine Sophie Barat (known as St. Sophie). (The teething toy Sophie the Giraffe is named after her!)

(5) Chloe

Chloe is another of those biblical names that doesn’t hit you in the face with its biblicalness (St. Paul spent time in Chloe’s home as reported in 1 Corinthians), and it’s a style match for Zachary, Olivia, and Ethan. I think it’s such a fun and spunky name, and pairs well with longer middle names like Margaret.

Boys

(1) Timothy

Timothy is my favorite idea for this family! It’s biblical, and not only a style match for Zachary and Ethan, but also for Patrick! Timmy’s adorable for a little guy and Tim’s solid and handsome for a man, but I’ve also been digging the nickname Ty for Timothy lately, so cool!

(2) Nicholas

Nicholas is very much in keeping with the style of Olivia, Zachary, Elizabeth, Patrick, and Ethan—a great fit! It’s got great nickname options too, from Nick and Nicky to Cole.

(3) Alexander

Nicholas and Alexander basically have the same style profile—Alexander’s another great match for Amanda and her hubs. Alex is a great, traditional nickname, and I’m hearing Xander every now and then as well, which I quite like.

(4) Noah

Noah’s been the #1 name for the last three years, which isn’t surprising, since it’s such a great name. It’s a style match for Olivia, Zachary, and Ethan, and is equal parts serious Old Testament patriarch and modern cute boy.

(5) Owen

Owen’s a little bit of a departure from the basically biblical style I feel like they prefer for boys, but it’s closer to their idea of Patrick and was actually listed as a style match for Olivia, Charlotte, and Ethan! I love the name Owen.

And those are all my idea for the little brother or sister for Olivia and Zach! What do you all think! What name(s) would you suggest?

I’m not currently accepting any new consultation requests, but past consultations and birth announcements may give you just the inspiration you need! 

Changing things up a little

sanctanomina Housekeeping

Happy Monday everyone!

Some housekeeping items this morning: I just posted an automatic response on my email that I won’t be able to accept any more name consultations for a short while — I’m so backed up! I need to take some time to focus on the consultations I already have — I currently have eleven in the queue, which isn’t the most I’ve ever had pending, but the beginning of the school year is totally swamping me, and it takes me a good day (at least) to pull together a consultation that is ready to email to the parents — that’s after doing the research, which sometimes takes a couple of days. I love doing consultations, you know I do! But when I have a bunch that I still have to do, and I get more coming in daily (how I love that you all have such trust in my thoughts/ideas/suggestions!), and my 2yo is following me around crying, “Mommy! Need hold you!” and my 6yo is asking for help with homework and my almost-12yo needs to be picked up from his after-school activities and the other boys are beating each other up and I’m trying to cook dinner and be present to my darling husband when he comes home from work … well, I know you know. And I love you all for your beautiful hearts and for totally getting me. ❤

I admit I’m also thinking of changing from a donation-based model to a fee-based model for consultations. So many of you have been so wonderful and generous with your donations, and I’ve been humbled and honored more than once that it seems you’re giving your own “widow’s mite”! And I love that the names we’re talking about are the names of our faith, and how much you all love Jesus and Mary and the Saints and the Church — I’ve often told people, when they gasp that I don’t charge for consultations, that I just don’t see how I can ask for money to share such beautiful information! And yet … we’ll see. I’m thinking about it. It’ll make it easier for me to spend time on them, and many of my family members and friends have good ideas about how to structure such a model so that it retains the ministry aspect that I so love and believe in, including a financial aid allowance.

On the up side, I’m going to try to do a little more Instagramming and Tweeting — they’re so easy to do! It just takes minutes to post a photo or write a tweet, you know? I also have to catch up on my name reading, which I’ve woefully neglected (and I think my consultations are showing that — I’m feeling a little bit like I’m offering the same ideas every time) — I recently bought Mary’s Flowers: Gardens, Legends, and Meditations by Vincenzina Krymow (Vincenzina!) and I can’t wait to dive into it! I never followed up on my question to you all about whether I should buy the off-putting-title-but-otherwise-drool-worthy Llewellyn’s Complete Book of Names: For Pagans, Witches, Wiccans, Druids, Heathens, Mages, Shamans & Independent Thinkers of All Sorts by K.M. Sheard (I was sort of surprised that you were all in favor!), but I’m ordering it today (I’ll definitely be putting a cover on it, and maybe that holy water suggestion too 😉 ), and I still want to do a review of Duana’s book The Name Therapist: How Growing Up With My Odd Name Taught Me Everything You Need to Know About Yours as well as  African Saints, African Stories: 40 Holy Men and Women by Camille Lewis Brown and Ablaze: Stories of Daring Teen Saints by Colleen Swaim. I also have a bunch of things I want to post of my own that I haven’t been able to get to, including two spotlight requests; I also pitched an idea to Nameberry ages ago that I still have to make good on; and a bunch of other things, most of which will have to wait until I’ve caught up on the consultations, but one is an exciting guest post that I’ll be putting up tomorrow! I can’t wait for you all to read it! And I’ll be posting an extra consultation on Thursdays for the next three weeks for families that had interesting dilemmas or situations that I thought you’d all benefit from seeing (as I did).

I hope you all stick with me as I try to shake things up a little so they settle down better! I would love it if you’d think to include me in your prayers, and you and yours are always in mine. ❤ St. Anne, please pray for us!

Baby Patton

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It was with great sadness that I read Grace’s recent post at Camp Patton — she recently suffered the miscarriage of their sixth baby, and in the midst of her grief she decided to let her readers know in hopes that doing so might help “even one mom feel a little bit less alone during the dark period following a miscarriage.” I myself took great comfort in hearing from other moms about their lost babies after losing my own — as Simcha wrote after her own miscarriage and the resulting wagon-circling of mamas who have been there, “What a crowd of beloved babies there must be, waiting and praying for us!”

Grace also shared the lovely story about the naming of her littlest one — she and her husband chose a name full of meaning for them, it’s just perfect. She also shared this quote from St. Philip Neri, which is also just perfect: “Let me get through today, and I shall not fear tomorrow.” And this perfect thought as well: “we know that as parents our primary goal is to get our children to heaven and that’s exactly where the baby is.”

None of which makes it any easier, of course. Please keep the Patton family in your prayers. 🙏🌹❤

What’s this? Oh, just a pile of things I’m buried under

sanctanomina Housekeeping

You guys! I’m so so sorry I’ve been so quiet! Once again I’m backed up on emails and consultations! Tomorrow’s the last day of the first full week of school, and we’re doing great in that regard — we’re chugging back into the routine, I’ve been on top of all the things I need to be on top of children-wise — and I had two writing deadlines in the last week as well (they always seem to fall just when everything else does!), and a million other tiny little things that add up to a lot, and everything else has fallen by the wayside. If it makes you feel any better, my laundry is also a tragedy, as is the house in general. 🤦

I always hope to get caught up on the weekends, and I usually do — hopefully this weekend’s no different! I hope you’re all doing wonderfully well!

Baby name consultant: Eighth baby (boy) — no repeating initials please!

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Happy Feast of the Most Holy Name of Mary!! One of my very very very very favorite feast days ever!! 💞💞💞

Lara and her husband are expecting their eighth baby, and fourth boy! Their older kiddos came in a girl-boy-girl-boy pattern, and they’re delighted that this wee babe is continuing the trend, joining:

Grace Anna (“named after her great, great g-ma and her birth mother“)

Anders Evans (“my husband’s middle Swedish name, and Bill Evans, jazz pianist, my husband’s favorite“)

Ella Katherine (“loved the classic name Ella and Katherine is my middle name“)

Ian Louis (“he surprised us and arrived early at 29 weeks and such is Ian, meaning “God is gracious” and my dad’s first name, Louis“)

Margaret Carolynn (“After watching A Man For All Seasons, my husband was moved by Thomas More’s relationship with his daughter Margaret. Also, we’ve always loved the nickname Maggie. Carolynn is a combo of my mother’s middle name, Carolyn and my mil’s middle name Lynn“)

Nathaniel Joseph (“He was our most challenging name to decide. Nathan was too common for me and Joseph was a favorite of my husband’s. Nate was also a great nickname“)

Mary Virginia (“After seeing Mary of Nazareth we were convinced to be classic Catholic and have a Mary in our family. Also, my grandmother’s name was Mary Virginia. She passed when I was 4, but my memories of her are strong and lovely“)

I love all these names! They’re such great, meaningful names, and a little bit unexpected as a set I think, which is so fun.

Lara writes,

“We don’t want to use another M name and would like to have each child with a different initial. Names we cannot use are Ryan, Collin, Blake, Brayden, William, John, Erik, Gibson, all nephews’ names. Close family friends, have Gabriel, Jude, Becket, Blaise, Luke and Max.”

I know Lara was worried that their “rules” were too restrictive, but as I always say — the more the merrier! I love a good challenge!

First off, one of the things that I noticed right away is that Anders has a Scandinavian name and Ian has a Celtic name, so one of my goals was to find a name or names that sort of bridges those two styles, and a couple of my ideas below fit that. Otherwise, I looked up all the names Lara and her hubs have already used in the Baby Name Wizard as it lists, for each entry, boy and girl names that are similar in terms of style/feel/popularity.

So! All that said, I came up with a few ideas for Lara’s littlest guy, some of which fit her rules and one that doesn’t but maybe might work anyway:

(1) Henry
Henry is far and away my favorite idea for this baby. It’s got a British feel, which I think Ian fits into nicely, and it’s a style match for Grace and Margaret, but my favorite aspect of it is that one of the Sts. Henry was sent to evangelize Scandinavia! I spotlighted the name here.

(2) Oliver or Oscar
I think of Oliver as an Irish/British name with a similar feel as Ian (and there’s the great St. Oliver Plunket), but it’s theorized that its roots are actually Germanic or Old Norse, so I think it can have that dual feel that I was looking for.

Another idea I had along these same lines is Oscar. Oscar was the name of Finn MacCool’s grandson in Irish legend and there’s the Irish poet Oscar Wilde, but it’s also quite popular in the Scandinavian countries. Bl. Oscar Romero was beatified last year, and I spotlighted the name here.

(3) August
Here’s my rule breaker! August was listed as a style match for Grace, Anders, and Virginia, and Augie and Gus are both great nickname possibilities, and Gus especially would make the fact that August repeats Anders’ initial maybe not as big of a deal.

(4) Theodore
Theodore’s a style match for Anders, Virginia, Louis, and the August I just suggested above. I love Theodore for this family! He could be Theo or Teddy, or the full Theodore. So handsome!

(5) Finn
Finn is another name that’s a great “bridge” name — on one hand, it’s an Old Norse meaning “person from Finland,” but I think — and certainly correct me if I’m wrong — that these days it’s just considered a general Scandinavian name? Rather than particularly tied to Finland specifically? And on the other hand, it has separate origins as an Irish name! (Finn MacCool, as I mentioned earlier.) It’s fairly popular currently for several reasons, the most recent of which is the character of Finn in the new Star Wars, but my favorite way to use it is as a nickname for Francis — I think it’s such a cool and kicky way to make a little Francis feel a little more current.

(7) Samuel
Samuel is a style match for Grace, Ella, Nathaniel, and Henry, so cool! I love Samuel, and the nickname Sam/Sammy is so hard to beat.

(8) Charles
Finally, Charles, a style match for Louis, Joseph, Margaret, Mary, and Virginia. I know some people have used Charles as a nod to St. John Paul II (his birth name was Karol, the Polish version of Charles), and I’ve recently learned about the amazing Bl. Karl of Austria. There are lots more Sts. Charles too, like St. Charles Borromeo. Great name! Charlie’s one of those great, friendly nicknames, and Cal’s also a possibility, as well as these other interesting ideas.

And those are all my ideas for Lara and her husband! What do you all think? What would you suggest for their little boy?

Nickname issues, and name discernment/being “at odds with the Holy Spirit”

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I had a really interesting email from a reader, and she’s eager to hear what you all think! She writes,

“I’ve read your post on name regret, and I was wondering if you had ever considered doing a post on name discernment. My husband and I have a name we both like for our first child (due in 10 weeks!), except I cannot stand the nickname variant! Bad associations I guess. There are many great reasons to use this name, and it feels right in so many ways with all the connections we have with it, particularly when compared to our other frontrunners (which we both like quite a bit, but don’t feel as right). However, we cannot get over the nickname impasse with this original name — he doesn’t like the idea of using the full name or alternate nicknames on a regular basis, and I don’t think I could see using the traditional nickname. Have people ever run into this type of situation? Did they go with the name that felt most right, even if they didn’t like it, per se? Trust in the Holy Spirit and hope you grow to like it? With this being our first, I’m just not sure what to think.”

Interesting questions, right? I really see it breaking down into two questions: (1) How do we handle using a formal name that we both love that has seemingly inevitable nickname issues that we can’t agree on? And, as this mama put it later in her email, (2) What did you do if you ever had a time when your “preferences were perhaps at odds with the Holy Spirit”?

I gave this mama my own thoughts to No. 1, which were basically along the lines of “if you go with the name they both like — which seems to be, from her email, just what they’re feeling called to — the rest of it will shake out.” Do you agree? Do you have experiences of your own like this?

As for No. 2, I’m interested to see what you all will say! I’ve had experiences myself where things happened that seemed to make obvious what the baby’s name was *supposed* to be, things just fell in place in a really providential way, and it was kind of thrilling to really feel like we’d done it — we’d found the name that was meant just for him! And we know there are times when God actually does say, “This is what the baby’s name will be.” (Jesus.) But at the same time, I also think that God uses our preferences and tastes and styles for His purposes, so that second question gets kind of tricky, and I can totally see it setting up a situation where name regret might occur. And it’s all based so much on feelings — which name feels right and which doesn’t — and feelings can definitely be helpful, but they can also be wrong and/or misleading. Also, being “at odds with the Holy Spirit” sounds very grave, but in regards to naming one’s baby, I don’t think it’s quite as heavy or binding. After all, as Pope Francis said in Amoris Laetitia, “For God allows parents to choose the name by which he himself will call their child for all eternity.” (166)

So lots to think about here, and we’d love to hear your thoughts! I’ve done a few other posts that kind of swirl around this topic as well and which might be helpful — they’re listed in this post.

Updated to add: How timely! I was just catching up on email, and one of you wonderful readers sent me the link to this article: One in five mothers say they chose wrong name for their child, poll finds. It was definitely an interesting read, and my biggest takeaway was that sometimes name regret happens and there’s not much that can be done about it (e.g., little girls named Isis and Elsa just before those names took on huge obvious associations, or kids that grew up to dislike their names), which I feel like might help reduce the stress associated with picking the *right* name, since sometimes it’s taken right out of your hands, no matter what precautions you take. Rather than being a terrifying thought, it’s kind of a soothing one to me! So just pray and do the best you can.

Number names 2.0

sanctanomina Naming nitty gritty , ,

Abby at Appellation Mountain posted a piece at Nameberry today on number names (I should’ve realized that her tweets likely indicated the topic was brewing in her mind, but I didn’t even think of it) — definitely check it out, she has a lot of better ideas than mine! Numeric Baby Names: Una, Ivy and Octavia: Counting from Una to Eleven

sanctanomina's avatarSancta Nomina

[I apologize to all the people waiting for an email back from me! This is the first week of school and I’m just now starting to catch my breath. Soon!]

Happy Birthday Mother Mary!! My bishop tweeted the greatest thought today: “Mary’s birth is the dawn of hope, humanity’s second chance.” A perfect thought not only for Our Lady’s birthday, but also for the Year of Mercy! ❤

Ages ago (like, back in January) Krista asked for a post about number names, and it’s been on my mind ever since. I’d had a rough idea of doing so around the first day of school — you know, ‘rithmetic and all — and then Abby at Appellation Mountain and I tweeted a bit the past few days (in response to a Haley Stewart tweet) about number names, so it’s definitely time to do this.

I was thinking of all…

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Number names

sanctanomina Naming nitty gritty , ,

[I apologize to all the people waiting for an email back from me! This is the first week of school and I’m just now starting to catch my breath. Soon!]

Happy Birthday Mother Mary!! My bishop tweeted the greatest thought today: “Mary’s birth is the dawn of hope, humanity’s second chance.” A perfect thought not only for Our Lady’s birthday, but also for the Year of Mercy! ❤

Ages ago (like, back in January) Krista asked for a post about number names, and it’s been on my mind ever since. I’d had a rough idea of doing so around the first day of school — you know, ‘rithmetic and all — and then Abby at Appellation Mountain and I tweeted a bit the past few days (in response to a Haley Stewart tweet) about number names, so it’s definitely time to do this.

I was thinking of all the number-named people I know of and came up with a good few (both real and fictional):

I pretty much love all of these! As I told Abby, I like number names, and really, as soon as they’re used as a name, they become really namey to me. It reminds me of something name expert Cleveland Kent Evans was quoted as saying in Joal Ryan’s 1999 book (one of my favorite favorites) Puffy, Xena, Quentin, Uma:

“Science fiction likes to tell the grim tale of a world so dehumanized that names are eschewed with numbers and serial codes [Stranger Things y’all!]. Cody, say hello to your new classmate: THX 1138.

Well, the future is here and the question is: Do baby names really stand a chance of becoming obsolete? 

No, says Bellevue University psychology professor Cleveland Evans, a longtime student and chronicler of the history and trends of American given names.

‘People are never going to use their social security number as their name,’ Evans says. ‘I’m sure there may be some numbers that become names — I wouldn’t be surprised if I started hearing of Seven of Nines (after the Star Trek: Voyager TV character). But once you do that, it’s not a number — it becomes a name.'” (pp. 367-368)

“But once you do that, it’s not a number — it becomes a name.” Right! Like, in our world, Sixtus — popes and saints! (Actually, funny enough, apparently it doesn’t even mean “sixth”! Except that it does, through usage and intention.)

So what other number names/nicknames are there? This is a selection of what I found (I searched by meaning on Behind the Name — lots of names in unfamiliar languages that mean “seventh son” and so forth, so if you want something really unusual be sure to search!) or have heard/came up with:

One/First
Mona, Primo/Primus, Primrose, Proteus, Winona; Onesimus could also maybe work (because of “one” contained within, though it doesn’t mean one/first), or Una (also doesn’t mean one), any “I” name

Two/Second
Duet (my own idea — sounds pretty, right? Like any of the -ette names? Do you think it works?), Secundus/a

Three/Third
Hirune (Basque for trinity!), Tercero, Tertia (I like this one — reminds me a bit of Teresa), Tertius, Treasa (used as an Irish form of Teresa), Tri, Trey, Trip, Tripper, Trinity

Four/Fourth
Cuatro, Four (a la Divergent), Quattro, Ivy (because of IV)

Five/Fifth
Pompey/Pompeius, Pontius (yikes), Quint, Quintus, Quintella, Quinten, Quentin, Quincy, Quintillian, and other Quin- names that don’t actually have anything to do with five/fifth except in appearance: Quin(n), Quinlan, and V names (or the name Vee)

Six/Sixth
Six, Sixt, Sextus/Sixtus (I definitely think Sixtus is more wearable), and those that contain “six” but don’t mean six: Sixte, Sixten, Sixtine (I really love Sixten!), and VI initials

Seven/Seventh
September (yes! a sneaky seven, that!), Septimus/a, Seven

Eight/Eighth
Keightlyn/KVIIIlyn (!), Octavia/Tavia, Octavius, Octavian, Tavian

Nine/Ninth
Nona, Nonus, Nuno/a, November (see September!), and unrelated to nine: Nonie, Nonna

Ten/Tenth
December, Dixie, Declan (because of the dec- — I saw this somewhere once and thought it was so clever), Tennyson (because of the ten-), Decimus/a, any X- name (Xavier, Xenia)

Eleven/Eleventh
Eleven/El/Elle, XI initials

What do you all think of these? What else can you add? I’m especially interested to hear what else you’ve heard in real life!